We walked in the ward to pray and saw a 4-year-old girl lying unnaturally still in bed. Her face was blotchy, her mouth foamy and slightly open. Our Swazi hostess Primrose said she was probably dead. She was still warm, but we didn’t see any breathing or feel any pulse. My heart dropped.
But Jesus heals and revives, right? He can raise the dead, right?
So in faith, we started praying fervently for her, but we soon found out that she had died just 30 minutes before we arrived. Though I still wanted Jesus to bring her back, I felt a small voice inside telling me she was safe with Him now. I believed it and took comfort in what had happened in the spiritual realm. But the reality of her dead, earthly body going cold within two feet of me still didn’t change. She was gone, and her mother wasn’t in the room because she was wrecked, devastated. She’d gone outside to get some air.
I was shocked. It took my own tears to realize how desensitized even I had been to death. I’d heard about so many deaths—even Primrose has been to 3 funerals for loved ones just in our short time here—but I broke down as I touched the face of this lifeless girl. She may go unnoticed, another subtle tally on the death count. But she’s a precious child bearing God’s image who impacted me, my team, and her family. Her story on my teammate’s blog even led someone last week to sponsor a 4-year-old Swazi child. Truly, truly, God can use all things awful and ugly for good.
Yet while knowing that truth, it’s hard not to feel disheartened by this nation. The intense, mind-blowing beauty painted across these landscapes lies in such stark contrast with the wretched, infuriating brokenness destroying these people.
HIV/AIDS runs rampant and the average age of Swaziland is 20.8. Most of those crushed by the epidemic are in serious denial, claiming that their illness can be treated by traditional medicine and witch doctor treatments.
This country has received a death sentence; the Swazi population will supposedly be decimated by 2050. I’ve never seen a place where death is so common, where hospital reception has signs up encouraging men to “think of your wife and children as you travel” so as not to contract or spread HIV.
Polygamy is perfectly normal, which explains why I’ve received at least three proposals from random men so far. Many men (even many pastors) have multiple wives, but only one ends up acting as a wife at any given time, while the rest act as slaves.
If a man sees a young girl alone and rapes her, he faces zero consequences because he simply needed to “relieve himself.”
Witchcraft is huge, and especially now that it’s election season, we as foreigners have been warned to be careful running out on the streets… because they like to take foreigners, virgins, and children for sacrifices. Witch doctors tell HIV patients they’ll be cured if they have sex with a virgin.
It’s absolutely sickening.
I find it difficult to hold any sort of normal conversation with any Swazi male, because he either asks me to marry him and take him to the States, or he is yelling, “China!” or making mocking Asian noises at me as I pass by. (For the record, the Asian thing has happened everywhere on the Race except in Asia.)
How? How do I love these people best? I’ve realized that loving them doesn’t have to mean being kind and smiley and receptive at all times; sometimes loving people involves not enabling them to continue ungodly behavior that negatively affects others.
So I keep walking and immediately pray for him. I fight the gross feelings that surge up in me. My battle, his battle, our battle is not against people but against Satan’s darkness. I’m not fighting him; I’m fighting with him and for him. This stuff happens because the love of Jesus has not penetrated and freed these hearts yet.
The hope of Christ is what sustains me. “For in this hope we were saved.” [Romans 8:24] It’s the only thing that can uphold anyone who is immersed in this weary, burdened land. I know that there is redemption out there, and I know that this earthly death sentence does not have to be the fate of these hungry Swazi citizens.
