I have decided.
I grew up going to church every Sunday, every Wednesday, every summer for Vacation Bible School, you name it, I was there.
And I loved it. Church was a place where I felt love and acceptance. Church was a place where friends became family. Church was a place where I learned all about the Lord, His promises, His sacrifice, and His Word.
In September 1997 I walked the aisle of a service one Sunday morning to proclaim my faith in Jesus so that I could be baptized. It’s what I supposed to do. It’s what my friends had done.
At 7 years old, I don’t know that I fully knew the weight of my decision. My motives were not right and I lacked true understanding.
In the years that followed, I began to doubt my salvation. My life was no different than it was previously. I felt like I didn’t have a testimony. I felt like something was missing. I had all the head knowledge, but lacked a heart connection.
So, in middle school, I wanted to settle things in my heart, lay my doubts to rest, and know once and for all I was saved, a true believer in Jesus Christ. I prayed to accept Jesus in my heart with a leader at a youth weekend event. I had peace and assurance.
The leaders encouraged me to follow my decision with baptism. No way was I doing that. I was ashamed. I was worried and afraid of what people would think of me. I was worried that people would think I was a liar. I was worried that people would think I had been a fake Christian. I had already been baptized, I couldn’t do that again.
One of the first things the Lord asks us to do after we accept Him through salvation is to be baptized. Not because it makes us saved, but because it is an act of obedience, a public proclamation of faith in Jesus Christ.
Choosing not to be baptized set the precedence for disobedience in my life. I knew the standards to which the Lord had called me, but I did not set boundaries and follow in His ways. I did as I pleased and carried a kind of anything goes mentality throughout high school and college. On the outside I held it mostly together.
In September 2013 I got married. When the marriage unraveled in 2015, I was completely heartbroken. I lost my best friend. I lost our future. Everything I had hoped for and dreamed of had been pulled out from beneath me in one fell swoop.
The marriage officially ended on September 17, 2015.
I had nowhere to turn but up. I had no one to turn to but the Lord. I cried out to Him and in an instant, He met me in my mess and in my brokenness to rescue me. After I decided to fully surrender my life and will to His, He began a great restoration work in my life. He showered me with reassurance and guided me with gentleness.
In late 2016, the Lord opened the door to the amazing opportunity of the World Race. In the months leading up my launch in August 2017, I thought about the possibility of getting baptized while on the field. I figured it was time to finally be obedient in following Jesus’s example, but when? When is the right time? I told the Lord that I would get baptized the first chance I got on the World Race.
Fast forward to Friday September 15, 2017, month 2, all squad month in Romania. Our leadership announced that one our host churches was having a baptism the next Sunday.
“Ok, Lord, I guess that’s my clue.”
So, 20 years after my first baptism, on September 17, 2017, I was re-baptized at Flame of Worship by my wonderful squad leader, Madie.
I got to share this special moment with my sweet teammate Bethany, 3 other squad mates, Alex, Molly, and Nathan, and another young man from the church.
That’s not even the best part. This date, September 17, my divorced date, a date with painful memories, was a date that the enemy meant for my harm and my demise.
BUT GOD, has redeemed this date as a fresh beginning and new life. Satan had no clue what God was planning for all along.
