{Ukraine Blog 1.}
There are four months left on this race and I said, “Yes,” to the next season, a new beginning, I am playing a whole new ball game.
I said yes to squad leading I-squad.
The choice to squad lead unfolded in a series of perfectly timed events. From writing a long letter as to why I felt my time as a team leader had ended, to being asked to squad lead literally right after I wrote that letter. My team Hidden Refuge also changed their name the day after I was asked to squad lead. They were starting a new season as team Unveiled with Alexzandra Rangel as their team leader, and it affirmed in my heart that this was THEIR new time a part from me.
The transition to squad leading hasn’t been an easy one. Still, I am confident I am exactly where I need to be.
My race from here on out won’t look the same. I am co leading with 3 others, Jamie Moats, Jillian Deas, and Jonathon James- a team of four- who are working side by side to serve I squad. (I guess I didn’t get the “J” for a name memo.) So, I don’t have set ministry each month, instead I invest in the squad- the team leaders, the teams and individuals therein. I travel multiple times through out the month to visit different teams in whatever country we’re in; this month it’s Ukraine.
Currently, I am in Yalta Crema, Ukraine. Evidently it’s the tourist spot of this country, which makes sense because it is absolutely beautiful! I am surrounded my pine trees, mountains and amazing hiking trails. The best part though was when my eyes took in for the first time in 8 months a large body of water—the Black sea. A Californian at heart, it’s been weird being away from a large body of water for such a long time, I missed the water and when I saw it, I nearly cried.
As I’ve sat out taking in the view I realized, again, that I was exactly where I need to be.
Back in July of last year, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was walking on water, I know, crazy, but it was awesome. I was walking on water and ascending to higher places—what felt like heaven. Walking on the water to reach the heavenly places was a scary feat and I remember thinking, “What does this mean?” After I finished walking on water I was reunited with loved ones back home. It was the happiest reunion. When I woke up, I thought it strange, I thought it awesome, I thought it a prophetic dream, as I tend to have those from time to time, and then I forgot about it.
When I said yes to squad leading, I knew I needed an anthem, a song, to help me get through the rough moments when doubt and fear creep in. The Lord gave me “Oceans (where feet may fail)” off of Hillsong United’s latest “Zion” album. Of course the song talks about walking on water. You should give it a listen. J And I suddenly it all came together, confirmed, again.
As I write this blog I am looking out at the majestic view of the Black Sea—it’s beautiful, it’s massive, it’s intimidating.
Before I used to look at the ocean as an abyss- a giant void of darkness. It was filled with scary things—sea monsters, and sharks, a place of deep loneliness.
When I look out now, I see an ocean filled with God’s grace, His love that far extends the depths of the oceans; I see a place where I could never escape the reaches of His love. I see the opportunity for miracles, a place of unknown adventure and new mysteries. I see Him.
Isn’t it the heart of God for him to lead me to the water?
Isn’t it beautiful and hysterical and so in the heart of a GOOD father for him to literally take me to see the water for the first time since the start of the race?
Isn’t it too crazy and majestic for Him to give me the song “Oceans” for this new season?
A song that talks about walking on water — Only to remember the dream He gave me, a dream prior to even being on the race, of walking on water with Him to higher places.
Isn’t it in the heart of God to work all things out for the good of those who love him? And allow these things come to pass?
It’s a little bizarre if you ask me.
But that IS the heart of God.
That is His goodness towards us, towards me.
That is His heart of intimacy with His children.
So here I am, little ol’ me, saying, “Yes” to walking on water, saying, “Yes” to squad leading, fully trusting that I cannot do this apart from Him.
Matthew 14: 22-36.
