I was at training camp for World Race in Georgia from June 6th-17th and finally met my squad who I will be living life with over the next 11 months. I knew training camp was going to be tough, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened there. The Lord could not have staged a more powerful intervention. Training camp broke me.
Have you ever delighted in the idea of being God’s roommate? I have, and I’m convinced that his refrigerator would only ever be stocked with yummy stuff. Upon entering training camp, that was basically the only idea keeping me sane. The fact that it will be just me and Him in my tiny little tent each night. I couldn’t have been more wrong. And thus began my prayer. Dear Jesus, come quickly!
At training camp, our squad was put though a series of scenarios to help prepare us for life out in the mission field. Scenario #1 was this introvert’s worst nightmare. Our squad got back to camp that evening and were told to divide our packs into two piles. Then, one of those piles was covered with a tarp and we were told that “the airline lost our packs.” My pack was definitely in the ‘lost’ pile. Externally I remained calm, but internally—pure chaos. My pack was my comfort, all things familiar, and now it was gone. We were forced into community living from the get go. That night, those of us who didn’t have our packs were without our tents, sleeping bag, sleeping pad, pillow…everything.
The friend I shared a tent with that night wanted to give me absolutely everything. I said no. She also stated numerous times before falling asleep that if I needed anything or was uncomfortable, to wake her. I did no such thing. That night was literally the worst night I had at training camp. Here’s why: I didn’t know how to accept the help of others.
A fundamental truth I learned that night—When you deny someone the opportunity to help you, you deny them joy in life.
I saw this truth play out in the lives of my squad time and time again. There is so much joy in giving and helping others. A joy that God intended for all of us to experience. Training camp finally forced me to fully embrace the help of others. I had to place my faith in the love that my squad was actively giving me. I had to relinquish control to the hands and feet that God has laid in my path. I had to place my hope in the people He has provided.
I began to realize how much I overcomplicate things. I’m not being physically forced to let go of anything. But, if I am going to value my relationships with others as much as I want to, letting go is the only choice I have. God has shown me what a powerful gift I can give others by simply loving through my actions, through being His hands and feet. However, openly and graciously receiving this same love from others is a whole new kind of beauty, a new kind of freedom, a freedom I witnessed everyday at training camp.
If I’m going to embrace a life of faith, I must embrace the gifts of provision that God gives to me. I must embrace the help of my family, friends, and even complete strangers whom God handpicked for this squad. I must welcome the helping hands of people I’ve only just met. To live a life of faith, I must no longer trust solely in my own strength. I must let go of safety and learn to trust the strength of the people God surrounds me with.
Near the end of our time together at training camp, our leadership team gathered us together and began talking about what this journey of intentional and authentic community living will look like. We were then presented with a “Squad Covenant” and as individuals we were given time to read over it, sign it, and then hand it over to one of our coaches. Not only did we have to promise to abide by this covenant, but we also had to say “yes” to each and every one of our squad mates.
Tears began to stream down my face as I began to read our covenant and my teammates began saying “yes” to one another out loud.
“As I embark on this journey around the world, I hereby commit myself to the Lord…
To be His hands, feet, and heart to the nations.
To love and serve others as He has so done for the Church.
To pursue walking in the fullness of my identity in the Kingdom and power of the Spirit.
In addition, I commit myself to my squad…
To honor and respect them as they are fellow image-bearers of Christ.
By being fully present and engaged in ministry, team, and squad activities (choosing into the journey we’re on together).
Through practicing healthy communication and feedback, especially when in conflict.
…To the best of my ability and in partnership with the Holy Spirit.”
I was a mess. This is the kind of community that Christ intended for each of us. I’ve never experienced community like this. In my heart, I had no problem and no hesitation saying yes to any of my teammates. My issue was believing them when they said “yes” to me. For the first time I said “Yes!” not to the pressures of a culture that would consume but to a Savior who would transform. The kind of life I said yes to with my squad is one that I wholeheartedly believe is worth living. I know it will be exhausting and exhilarating, heartbreaking and soaked to the skin with the beauty of redemptive grace.
When you’ve been stretched beyond your comfort zone, beyond what you believe you are capable of, it starts to become more comfortable. I look forward to experiencing that with my new family. I believe with all my heart that these people are in my corner. That they are for me no matter how many times I track mud into the house or forget to use my inside voice.
Training camp was filled with so much self discovery. It was in Gainesville, Georgia that through the power, love and sacrifice of others—I said yes. I said yes to allowing others help me. I had no idea what this kind of change in my life would mean or how I would navigate it, I just knew I had to do it. I needed to do it for my family, for my friends, and for me. Living a full life is a decision I make every time I let others help me. Every time I make that decision, every face staring back at me is full of joy, a joy that comes from giving of themselves.
So to my squad family, I promise to never deny you that joy.
So what can you do to help me?
I’m still in need of financial support. The total cost for my mission trip with World Race is $17,017. I have until July 21st to raise $10,000. I am still roughly $1,500 short of reaching that deadline. As I continue to take this huge step of faith in trusting the Lord, would you prayerfully consider supporting me?
