My team just served a month in the Philippines. We were first sent to the island of Mindoro where we lived with an elderly Filipino couple and helped with village ministry. While we were on the island of Mindoro, Madison led our team through a night of prophesy. She asked us each to go to the Lord, asking Him what He would have for us in this season.
What did each one of us hear? Healing.
God specifically spoke to us that this season we were about to walk into together would be a season of immense healing.
Well crap (insert other choice word here). Healing takes work. A lot of work.
That morning, before Madison led us through her team time, I was rereading some old notes I had on Psalm 51. During our night of prophesy one of my teammates, Kat, was taken to Psalm 51.
Yeah yeah, I hear ya God. Loud and clear.
I felt that the Lord was asking me to facilitate a time of healing for this team. I spent a few days communicating with God in what it was He was specifically asking of me. I then shared with my team what God had placed on my heart.
I mentioned that I believed he was wanting me to lead us through Psalm 51 and what it reveals about deep cleaning our dirty hearts. That it was time to make our messes known. That this season is a gift, a treasure, and it’s worth changing our lives for. That I believe God does his best work in our lives during times of great heartbreak and loss, and that much of that rich work is done by the hands of people who love us, who dive into the wreckage with us and show us who God is, over and over and over again. That healing is a choice and it’s up to us who we choose to let in and let love us though the process.
I asked each of my teammates to do a little homework before my next team time. We discussed how it was easier to talk about things that have been done to us. However, instead of focusing on those areas—what is something that you’ve done, a sin you’ve committed that caused you and those you love pain? Where have we messed up? Ask the Lord for an area of your life that He wants you to receive healing in. And at my next team time, we were going to delve into Psalm 51 and confess-confess our messes.
What I’m about to share next is exactly what my team delved into at my next team time.
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Psalm 51 and what it reveals about deep cleaning our dirty hearts
“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in.” Revelation 3:20
What does this scripture reveal about God?
-He does not force himself upon us. He knocks, and waits for us to ask Him in.
-We all heard from the Lord and prophesied healing over this team. We’ve heard his voice, his knocking, and it’s up to us to invite him in.
So here’s the thing: we all pretty much handle our brokenness in the same way. We mishandle it. It hurts too much to go there. So we shut the door to that room in our hearts and we throw away the key. But that does not bring healing. It may bring relief for a while, but never healing. All it does is orphan the little girl in that room and leaves her to fend for herself.
The best thing we can do is to let Jesus come in—open the door and invite him in to find us in those hurting places. And the cool thing is that we get to do that together.
Christ asks our permission to come in and heal. The door is shut from the inside. healing never comes against our will.
So here’s what Psalm 52 reveals:
David was finally able to shrug off his own hefty backpack of guilt when he owned up to his bad behavior. Acknowledging the truth about getting jiggy with Bathsheba must have triggered a sweet release from the pain he caused. He no longer had to fake his innocence or cover up the damning evidence. Surely David sighed with relief and wondered why he hadn’t confessed the whole truth from the very beginning.
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Psalm 51:1
Sin clogs up the flow of God’s grace in our lives. But, a dose of confession rids our system of guilt and restores our comfort in God’s presence.
Listen to David’s longing for relief in his request:
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Psalm 51:2-3
David literally describes the inescapable reality of his choices. Every time David opens his eyes, he is made painfully aware of the adultery and murder he committed, of the way he intentionally turned his back on God to fulfill his own selfish desires.
David’s adulterous behavior impacted tons of lives. Yet, he still proclaimed that God alone is the target of his sin:
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Psalm 51:4
The heart of the matter is that ALL sin contradicts God Himself. When we choose our way over His way, we’re essentially thumbing our nose in his holy face.
I think recognizing we’re prone to error is foundational for healthy relationships with others and with God. Which brings us back to David’s confession:
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Psalm 51:5-6
David is not dissing on his mom here. This description of his innate flawed condition points to the doctrine of original sin. The reality that we don’t become sinners; we are born sinners. Thanks to our soul strain we inherited from Adam and Eve. With that one rebellious choice, she and Adam went from shameless nakedness to shame-filled hiding and blaming. Humanity has been polluted ever since. When we don’t recognize the reality of original sin—when we deny the truth of our own innate depravity—we minimize who God is.
What David says next further illustrates the gravity of his sin:
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all of my iniquities. Psalm 51:7-9
Hyssop was used in the Old Testament cleansing ceremony for lepers or for Israelites who’d come in contact with a dead body. Asking for hyssop was David’s was of admitting his sin was super gross and thus needed industrial-stregth cleanser.
Psalm 51 is also a psalm of lament, the expression of a heart crying our in grief. This psalm doesn’t communicate a superficial kind of I’m sorry God, I goofed confession. The language here indicates profound remorse. The words expose the misery of a man grappling with the consequences of his own selfish behavior. They portray a sinner weeping before a compassionate King.
God knocks through our loneliness. He knocks through our sorrows. He knocks through our grief. We need to give him access to our broken hearts. We need to ask Him to come into these places.
We began our healing with this prayer:
Yes Jesus, I give my life to you.
I do invite you in.
I surrender me-totally and completely.
Forgive all my sins and my hurtful ways.
Forgive all my self-protecting
and all of my chasing after other comforters.
Come to my heart in these shattered places.
I open the door of my heart.
I give you permission to heal my wounds.
Come to me here.
Come for me here.
Come and be my Savior and my Healer.
Amen.
We stepped into this; together. We made our messes known; together. Through the mess, we had an opportunity to say thank you and grow; together. We got to thank God for the bitter parts of our life, trusting his love and goodness even in the midst of our own sin; together. We chose healing; together.
We are aware as a team that this is hard. No one likes to talk about their baggage and past mistakes. But there is a difference between hurt and harm. This season that God has us in is not intended to harm us. Will it hurt? Yes. But this is the kind of hurt that will lead to health.
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11
This is what my team is currently choosing to step into, and we aren’t done yet. Please hold us up in prayer as this is not easy. Pray that we would continue to be bold in sharing and that we can continue to sit in the wreckage together. I absolutely love this team and the work that the Lord has already done in and through us in a short amount of time.
