I have a teammate, Carly, who often asks this question, “What makes you come alive?”
I then read this quote a couple days ago and it made me smile and think of her.
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” —Howard Thurman
I think God gives us each a gift or two so that we have something special to offer to others. But sometimes we make the mistake of assuming that the things we are good at are common to everyone. We don’t recognize that our gifts are unique and therefore worth offering. For example, I am a good listener. When my friends think of me, they think, “Lyndz—she’s a good listener.” But I never knew this skill was unusual until one day I was in the kitchen with Kirsten (Lilo). It was month four and we were in Indonesia.
We were in the kitchen preparing for our upcoming Thanksgiving feast we were going to have with the ministry we were working with. I’m sure our conversation didn’t go exactly like this. But, it was along these lines: “You know, Lilo, parties stress me out because everyone brings delicious fancy dishes to share and I don’t really even own any dishes to put a dish on even if I wanted to make a dish. Which I don’t, by the way. So sometimes I avoid gatherings just because I’m too annoyed about all the dish bringing.”
And Lilo answered with something along the lines of, “Yeah, okay. So you may not bring the best dishes. But you know what you do bring? You have a way of making me feel important when we talk. You really listen to me. That’s one of the reasons why I like having you around. You are a great listener.”
And I thought, hmmm.
Now when people invite me to things and they ask what I will bring, I can say: “I will bring my amazing listening ears.” If they love me, this will be fine with them. They will understand. If it’s not fine with them, they will stop inviting me to things. And to all the introverts out there: you’re welcome. Win-win.
That got me thinking about all the other ways that listening has served as an invitation into important moments of my friend’s lives. My gift of listening has been my ticket. And I’ve realized that these bridges go two ways: others’ gifts are their tickets into my life as well.
Like Lilo, she has the gift of hostessing and hospitality. Our squad mentor Ashley actually asked both Lilo and I if we would be willing to serve on the hospitality team at a World Race Awakening in Cambodia. Lilo and I had a good laugh about it, because on our last night together before we headed different directions for the first time on the Race—the Lord had asked me to give her the word hospitality. And this is what I said: You teach me so much without even having to speak. You see, you are hospitality—you make room, you bring others in, and you offer them a seat at your table. You love all things good, kind, and just. Wherever you are and wherever you go, know that you’re a world changer—but even more than that you’re a life changer. You’ve taught me friendship and how to love the heck out of someone.
Lilo doesn’t just use whatever space she has to hostess; she uses her whole heart. She throws open her doors and invites people to step inside and celebrate life. Her gift is celebration, creating an atmosphere in her presence in which her friends feel loved and honored. Being a hostess doesn’t stress her out; she loves it. It’s her gift—welcoming people. And because she offers it to me, Lilo’s face will be front and center in my celebration memories on the Race forever. Because of her gift, there are many, many bridges between Lilo and I.
I think sometimes we get confused and believe that our gift must bring us money or success or fame. Sometimes those things do happen, but not usually. The only thing a gift needs to do is bring you joy. You must find the thing that brings you joy in the doing of that thing, as Carly says, and not worry about the outcome. Your gift might be crucial and obviously helpful, like being a good listener, or it might be odd and unique. The important thing is that your gifts make you feel alive. Happier people make a better world.
You will know your gift because it will bring you joy and satisfaction, even if it’s hard for you to do. You will go about using your gift quietly, and eventually someone might notice and ask you to share your gift. If you agree to share, your gift will become a bridge. I suppose it’s possible that no one will ever ask, or that you will be too afraid to accept. Consider Emily Dickinson. Her gift was poetry, but she kept that gift to herself. Then she died, and her writing was found, and her gift became a bridge into millions of hearts. I think it’s pretty hard to keep a gift from becoming a bridge, somehow, someday, someway—if we use it. Because I think that God must really want us to connect with each other. He must want us to become a part of each other’s lives and memories, and he must want our hearts to get all tangled up with other hearts. We are each an island, but he gives us gifts to use as bridges into each other’s lives. When we lay down our gift, we walk right over it and straight into another heart.
I’m forever grateful for the gifts that have been used to build bridges with both Carly and Lilo.
Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Romans 12:13
Lilo, me, and Carly
