Home. At the beginning of The Race that place seemed like another world. And now with only 3 weeks left, I’ll be at this very distant place very shortly. Honestly, I have no idea how I’m feeling about going home because I have so many emotions running through my head, when that place is talked about. Hot showers, ice and clean clothes sound like heaven right about now, saying hello to loved ones who you haven’t seen in 9 months will be so sweet, but leaving your brothers and sisters who have quickly become family sounds a little bit like hell if I’m being honest. I sit here thinking about the goodbyes and see ya laters that will take place in the Houston Airport at 11:40 AM on Saturday, May 16th. When that plane hits the ground this amazing, hard and emotional journey will be done. Over. Finished. The feeling that I’m getting while writing those words cannot be expressed. And it can only be felt by 36 other human beings that I share this amazing, hard and emotional journey with.
Life has many seasons. Fall, winter, spring and summer happen once a year. When a new season approaches different things of that season start to change. That happens in life too. We go through one season and enter into a new one with new hardships and celebrations just like the last one. Some seasons are harder to leave than others and some you can’t wait to escape. This past season is one that I want to live forever. The people that I met and the places that I’ve been to have changed me forever. My eyes have been opened beyond my “bubble” back home and sometimes all I wanted to do was close them when I saw immense poverty in The Philippines, seeing little kids literally living in trash is something that I will never ever forget, other times I wish I would’ve had tooth picks in my eyes to keep my eyes open for longer while driving through Swaziland, beauty was all over whether it was the people we met or waking up on top of a mountain looking over a valley with coffee in hand, I wanted my eyes to be closed forever if it meant sitting with the Father and feeling Him like never before in worship nights like I have here in Nicaragua.
These past nine months have changed me. I’m leaving changed. I am no longer the person who I was before I came on the race, and I say that with confidence. The things I’ve seen have changed me, the people that I’ve met and who quickly became family hold a special part of me and have changed me forever, but more importantly, The Father changed me. He took me all the way across the world to show me love in so many different people and languages. He took me across the world to build relationships that He knew would change my definition of friendship. He took me across the world to completely capture my heart, and He succeeded. The Lord has absolutely won me over and because of that I am changed. I said yes to His love and it wrecked me forever. The amount of redemption and freedom I’ve found in The Father is hands down the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. I no longer live my life looking to please others, but solely looking to The Father for His approval. I no longer walk in shame, but walk in complete freedom. I no longer believe the lies in my head, instead I look to The Father and listen to what He says about me and because of that I walk in confidence.
This past season has been so beautiful in so many ways. I’ve seen so many views that have completely left me in awe of The Father, I’ve met so many people who just exude the Fathers love and joy, and it has beautifully wrecked me. Every season comes to an end, and unfortunately this one does too. These past nine months have been thrilling, challenging, emotional, and life changing. And for that I’m forever grateful for. I’m happy to say that at the end of this race, the people I met and the places I’ve seen have changed me, but most importantly, The Fathers love has wrecked me. I’m walking on the plane on May 16th to Omaha, NE, wrecked. I’m just as messy, crazy and undone as before, but this time I walk in the freedom and grace of knowing that I don’t have to have it all put together, because I’m His. I’m coming home beautifully wrecked by The Father.
With so much love from Nicaragua, Lyndsay
