“What you guys have here is somethin’ else.” These words were said to us by one of our squad coaches, Ron Campbell on one of the last nights of this past debrief in South Africa. He was explaining how the last time he left our squad from the previous debrief in The Philippines he cried. He cried because he never has experienced the kind of community we have and the community that we live in each and every day. A community that loves no matter what, a community that pushes one another into something higher, a community that encourages one another to dream big and nourishes one another’s dreams, a community that truly knows one another and truly sees one another and a community that is constantly challenging one another to pursue The Lord no matter what.
This past debrief we talked a lot about “re entry” which just means going back to America. Back to the routine, fast food, and Target runs. Thinking about going back to America sounds a little terrifying if I’m being completely honest. Because thinking about leaving my squad, my second family, kills me a little inside. I know that the grocery stores that carry a million different types of razors and Dr. Pepper will be overwhelming, and driving after nine months will be extremely nerve racking and having 4G will be really weird and being able to watch movies on a screen bigger than 15 inches will be.. different, but the thing that I can’t imagine not having with me back home with me is the people who have been by my side through out the most life changing nine months of my life, the people who have helped shape me into who I am right now. Not having anyone right next to me while I’m sleeping and not having anyone coming into the bathroom every five seconds while I’m showering to go pee while I’m showering, that’s what will be the most shocking thing about America.
I’ve learned so much about myself and all 35 people I’m with every single day over the past six months. Living in a community is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And there is no sarcasm in that last sentence. I truly mean it. Without community, I wouldn’t be who I am right now. Yeah, living in community is really, really sucky sometimes. Hearing ways you can grow in by other people is really hard to take sometimes, washing a million dishes that aren’t yours outside in the dark with nothing but a headlamp and a hose sucks sometimes, not being able to actually be alone is hard… But the positives definitely outweigh the negatives let me tell ya.
In the past seven months I’ve experienced so much freedom in Christ. I used to carry things that I didn’t need to carry, but now I’m free from those things and don’t feel the need to carry them at all anymore because I’m free in Christ. Before this trip I wasn’t confident. I didn’t really know who Lyndsay was. I knew that she was really weird and pretty loud, but those weren’t things that I was okay with, I would always try and be someone that I wasn’t, someone that other people wanted me to be. But now I know who I am and I’m completely okay with who I am and who I’m becoming. I firmly believe that these things wouldn’t have come up over the past seven months if it wasn’t for my teammates/squadmates. These great, great people brought something out of me. Something that needed to be brought out. The real me. The Lyndsay who IS free and the Lyndsay who KNOWS who she is and is okay with that person.
It’s crazy to think back to training camp. The first hello’s to these complete strangers, the first impressions and the first awkward hugs with one another. And now to look where we are and who we have become. Dang. I’m so stinkin’ proud of my squad. The growth, redemption and freedom that I’ve seen take over these peoples lives is insane, and I’m so glad that I could watch God work in and through you all. To think that we all were once strangers and to look at what we have now and what we’ve formed really is “somethin’ else”. I’m so going to miss being with these people everyday and getting to go on exciting adventures with my best friends. But I will forever by grateful for all of the time that we had together (whoah that’s pretty cheesy, but completely true.) The things that I’ve learned in the past seven months are things that I will carry with me for the rest of my life and I have these folks to thank for that. The goodbye is going to suck and hurt, really, really bad and you can’t avoid reality, but I’d rather have it hurt to say goodbye than to not feel anything at all. That shows that we actually did something in each others lives and made an impact. So bring it on, bring on the painful goodbye because it’s got nothin’ on what I’ve gained from the past nine months with these people, and it’s got nothin’ on how sweet our reunions will be and how we will now live the rest of our lives now.
