The last couple weeks have not been what I expected, but at the same time I didn’t know what I would feel before leaving for a year. A whirlwind since Training Camp, the time has been filled with sweet fellowship and savoring of the season! I feel calm about leaving yet anxious about the preparation. The closer the time gets, the easier it has been for my mind to grasp the reality.
We were encouraged to not “romanticize” the World Race and unknown, but to live “present” to what is before us in the moment. In the last couple weeks I have struggled with “romanticizing” my life here. Not that it’s awful or over the top amazing, but I began to realize the utter reality of life on the World Race and began to desire to stay here because it’s easier. My schedule is set, my friends are who I choose, and I live in my comfort zone. Yet there are a lot of ‘I’s and ‘my’s in that sentence- because it’s about me. It’s about what I want, what I think I need and it all revolves around ME! But why ME!? Seriously, I’m not that great! My life wasn’t given by me & ultimately it’s not taken away by me. Yet I still live like it’s ALL about me.
Jesus didn’t call the disciples to travel to meet with him for coffee every time he was close to their city. He called them to drop everything they had and knew to follow a complete stranger. I’m not saying we should drop everything we have and go on the mission field. This isn’t about me leaving on the World Race or feeling called over seas. This is about who I am LIVING for.
I exist to bring glory to God. I exist to reflect Jesus. It’s not about “working harder” to focus on God or develop a character trait in myself. In that, I am being “works” driven. It’s a change in perspective; the perspective of living with God in view before everything else. For instance, if I am making a decision I line up the pros and cons to give myself perspective on the situation. But what are those pros and cons? They all line up to be what’s best, easiest and most comfortable to me. Instead of lining up what’s best for me, I should be asking “why wouldn’t I do this or that”? This question reveals insecurities and fears. My default button always does what is easiest and with little or no risk. It’s not filled with insecurities and fears because those come with the unknown and a lack of trusting that God has EVERYTHING in His hand and is in control. Yet the blessings are beyond the default button. The blessings are in trusting Jesus when we are not in a place that we know. If the disciples had stayed and not followed Jesus, yes they may not have experienced torture and persecution at the end of their lives but they would have missed out of a relationship which is eternal.
That relationship matters more to me than myself. If staying here with the life I have now is easier, then by all means do I want a refocus and God is using the World Race for that in my life. But it looks different for everyone. It might be leaving a job and starting a new one or rolling down your window and praying for a homeless person while at a stop light.
Let’s be Jesus to the world. I can’t do that if I’m more concerned about my comfort. As I leave for the World Race, to me it’s an image of refocus to me. So what’s your “World Race”?
