Here is one thing that God has been teaching me. (As a side note, there is some sort of very loud memorial service going on right outside our window.. Hopefully it won't go until 3 AM like the last one did.) ((It did.))
I have been told a lot since training camp that I am going to learn to use my voice on this trip. Okay, whatever, I didn't think too much about that. I really only thought about it in terms of learning to give a sermon at a moment's notice and becoming pro at group prayer.
So last week I was feeling overwhelmed. The transition to living by myself for 6 months to constantly spending time with 16 other people caught me off guard. I've been looking forward to this trip for well over a year, I was never expecting to wish I was back home in my quiet little room in Massachusetts.
So for about two days my headphones were in my ears as much as possible; all I wanted to do was get away from outside noise and messy relationships. I wanted God to change me. I wanted to grow and learn, but I felt like I couldn't hear my own thoughts, let alone whatever God might be telling me. I wanted to recieve but I wasn't recieving direction from God or wisdom and encouragement from my teammates.
And then God told me something. I was being selfish. You have to give to receive.
I've realized that I came into this year wanting to change so badly, to be broken, to grow and to become a better disciple and person. Somehow I never quite realized that God has me here, in part, to help others grow and change. That I would need to learn to speak up. I don't want to do all that, I want to keep to myself. But it's so selfish not to.
There have been a few times now where I have had to share my story, my heart or how I truly feel about something. And everytime God has blown me away with the ways that it has blessed someone or enabled them to be open about their own struggles and life. The power of good words is truly to bring life, and life abundantly. So learn to speak, powerfully and intentionally. Your words may bring healing, growth and life as well.
