I've given up on God.
And I think you should too.
This might be one of the most important topics I'll ever write about.
I know so many people who are fervently searching to find their identity and to really find out just who God is. They try to reach a point where they have it all figured out. I know a lot of people who are searching for this, and I know a lot of people who think they have got there, to some extent or another. Honestly, I hope you never ever get to that point.
About a three weeks ago I had a really big argument with God. I was really miserable. I hated my new team, I didn't even want to look at them. I pretty much hated everyone. And I hated myself for hating everyone. While I poured out all of my frustration on God, I realized that who I really had a problem with was Him. I was fed up with the image of God that I had in my mind. I was confused by the God that all these people that were driving me crazy were talking about. I was tired of trying to reconcile all the questions and frustrations I had about God with what my squadmates, things I was reading and my own mind were saying. So I gave up.
I threw out what I saw when I closed my eyes to pray to the Lord. I threw out the connotations that arose in my mind when His name was spoken. I threw out every image, feeling and sense that was burdening my soul. I gave it all up and handed it over to the Lord.
I've done this before. A lot of times actually. In some sense, I try to do it every day. Honestly, the images, ideas and feelings that we create about the Lord are our brains sneaky way of trying to control Him and our relationship with Him. It is essential to be grounded in truth, not in our own minds.
"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." (Isaiah 55:8 NLT)
If you have never "given up on God", I really encourage you to do so. Ask God to expand your ideas of Him out from yourself. Ask Him to help you continually to recognize any ideas, images and impressions about Him that you have created out of your own mind. Evaluate what teachers, parents, churches, denominations and any other person or thing has ingrained in you. Ask God to reveal His truth to you through His Word and His Spirit.
And give up the ways you think you have to interact with God. Be brutally honest with Him. Tell Him absolutely everything. Ask Him how he wants to teach you, romance you and fellowship with you. Step out of where you are comfortable and be open to what He wants to show you, no matter how scary it might be.
As one of our squad coaches recently said, if you want to experience something you've never experienced before, you have to be willing to do something that you've never done before.
And don't just give it up once. When you feel yourself getting comfortable, or when you are feeling stagnant, or when you are just mad at God, give it all up. Throw out the ways you think you have to interact with God. Throw out how you think you have to view Him. Throw out how you think He views and interacts with you.
GIVING UP ON GOD IS REALLY GIVING UP ON YOURSELF.
(And it doesn't hurt to give up on the boxes, labels and judgements, good or bad, that you have placed on people either.)
