Month 8 of the world race has come and gone. I have fallen in love with another culture and another ministry. I have hope for the congregation in Sofia, Bulgaria. I remind myself often that although we bring light with us, Jesus is already here. He is already moving and speaking to the hearts of Christians and those he is pursuing.
Coming out of Africa and living one month in Europe I have noticed my heart for home is weighing heavily on my mind. I can’t wait to see the faces of my family and squeeze them. I have to keep reminding myself that I will never get these last 3 months again. Staying present is all fun and games until you realize you aren’t staying present. Feel me?
This month we dusted books…. Lots and lots of books. After we dusted them, we shelved them, and then went and unloaded more books from storage. Hang with me as I explain what God told me about these books. Because who doesn’t love a cheesy metaphor?
A lot of the books we shelved were from church libraries in America. I think I saw every book Billy Graham ever wrote and with multiple copies in case you couldn’t get enough of Billy. A lot of the boxes held bibles and really old dusty, decaying books. I was completely elated to find that a lot of these bibles had notes scribbled in them, verses or words from God. It reminded me of looking through my mom and dad’s bibles as I was growing up. I could always open up their bibles and see that they sought God and He spoke to them. So when I came across a bible this past month I opened it with excitement and almost always found a name and a date. I couldn’t help but think about who these people were. What were their stories? Who was God to them? What was their legacy? There is something so beautiful in the fact that as Christians we have pursued God, and an understanding of who he is, from the beginning. Together, as a human race with generations of other believers, we have understood Him as individuals . It amazes me even further that He knows us as individuals. The God of the universe cares to know every detail of every person who has ever lived. While many books were dusted and shelved this month, there were many that weren’t. A lot of books had torn pages or broken binding that was beyond repair. Those books would be thrown into a separate box and then taken to the garbage. My favorite note scribbled in a book this month was inside one of those broken books.
“Dear Lord your will,
Nothing more,
Nothing less,
Nothing else.”
As I thought about this past month, I felt God remind me that a lot of the time I see myself as those broken books. I see the ripped binding and torn pages and I disqualify myself as being worthy, as having value because of the state of my life. *Cue cheesy analogy* Even when we have a lot of hot mess pages to our lives, we are still a story worth telling. We are still a masterpiece published by the author. We have promises and hope written inside of us and in the pages of our heart. We so often see ourselves as broken and discardable. We walk with eyes glued to the ground because we don’t expect to ever see a silver lining. When the truth is that we are the flower that blooms up from the cracked concrete. We are the burst of color springing up from the ground in a concrete jungle. We have life because Jesus gave His freely. When I think back to training camp and life before the race I wish I could shake myself. I wish I could tell myself there’s more, kid! So much more. But would I even have listened? We see what we want to see. Our vision is clouded, our glasses are hella cracked. How do we expect to go anywhere with broken lenses?
So my take away for the month? Look at where God has brought you! Wake up and stand up. His mercy is new every morning. Every single morning. We’ve heard enough motivational sermons and worn too many “get busy living or get busy dying” t-shirts. Every single day is a gift, a chance to live for Jesus and to change the world we live in. At some time we have stop daydreaming about the life we want to live and live it. There’s always going to be curveballs. You are never going to be exactly who you think you should be in order to move. That’s why God is so cool. He doesn’t check with us first to make sure we think we’re qualified. He calls us from complacency into joy unspeakable. He speaks life into the dead, and we become great in Christ .
There is no greater joy in life than to be used by God. His will , nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.
So, you are more than your broken binding and ripped pages. Weakness is not your weakness. He has given you life. He has made a way .
And for your listening pleasure, one of my favorite songs “Passionflower” by Jon Gomm https://youtu.be/nY7GnAq6Znw
