Until now it hasn’t really resonated with me; the fact that I’m going to leave my home for 9 months and not see any of the people that are closest to me. I like to think I’m not the kind of person to freak out about things, and so far this is proving itself to be true. However, I certainly don’t feel normal with the stress of what needs to be done in this final stretch. The combination of trying to acquire the rest of the gear I need, the start of the packing, the ever-looming fundraising, all while trying to see the people I’m not going to see for so long, has certainly added a burden of stress. I’m sure my parents would tell you that I’m trying to do mainly that last option listed above, but procrastinating on something has certainly never alleviated any stress of it. The number of friends I have to spend time with is slowly diminishing anyways; most of them are leaving or have left for college. I’ve been having periodic goodbyes, including one with my best friend and one of my brothers. The fact that I’m still home though makes everything seem like it’s normal still and I don’t miss anyone too much yet but something tells me that’s going to change when I’m miserable with some stomach bug in Malawi (and probably sooner as well). A part of the reason I’ve agreed to do this journey is because I probably don’t appreciate home as much as I should and I want to get away for a little while, and that is likely to change as well. Change is bound to be a motif during this journey anyway, I’m sure the Lord plans to work in numerous ways to change me and also help my squad and I change the world. It’s just important for all of us to focus on the will of God rather than our love for the people back here, and to stay living life on a mission, intimately with God, and together communally.
My before mentioned stress isn’t the only reason I’m feeling different than I normally would, I’m also super excited. Not only am I not going to school (which is one of the greatest feelings ever) but I’m also leaving the country and continent in only 8 days. I’ve only left the US twice and both were to go to Canada. I’m hoping Asia, Africa, and South America will be a little different. Not only have I never really traveled anywhere before, I’ve never been on a mission trip at all or been very assertive about my faith in everyday life. This will be a large step for me but I trust the Lord in that he’ll use me in ways I’m certainly unaccustomed to but perfectly willing to obey.
A challenge for me (along with most everybody else) has been fundraising, I’m aware that it’s not that easy to just conjure $15,000 in just a few months, however God is good and has put it in peoples hearts to help me reach my goal. I am astonished that I’ve raised $10,000 so far; people have been so generous to me simply because I made them aware of my plans and they understand how beneficial it is to the Kingdom. I’d like to thank all my donors thus far, I know I’ve reached out to most of them already but with their help I met my late August goal of $10,000 and I can now officially depart in a little over a week. I thank all of you for your support and mainly the Lord for meeting my needs. All glory to him. I still have a bit of work to do; before the end of December I need to raise another $4,951 but this shouldn’t be hard once this blog is full of the amazing things the Lord has done so far through my team and I.
Because I’ve been working to try and raise money on my own, I haven’t been able to go to my Church on Sunday mornings or Wednesday nights for youth group. I work at a diner so they’re busiest Sunday mornings and I practically have to work every Sunday from 7-1:30. It’s been hard for me and I’ve felt more distant from the Lord, especially since Training Camp when I got t0o spiritually reconnect for a 10 day span. I know most of you won’t believe this but I’m actually glad that we aren’t allowed to use our phones during the day for the first month in India, it’s exactly what I need to reconnect with God and my Squad-mates. I’m so excited for this opportunity and I will definitely miss many people from home. I just hope that they don’t miss me too much and know that I’m leaving with a full heart from their love and support and I can’t thank them enough.
