Back in Spain leadership told us “The Race is what you make it.” At the time that had little to no meaning to me. I figured as soon as I was on the Race the change would just happen wither I was working for it or not. How wrong was I.
The Race is like anything, if you want change you will have to work for it. I found this out at a cost, it cost me month one. See my normal way of living is a “just get by” way of life. Stemming from the time I was eight until I graduated high school I was expected to just pass. I spent month one focused on comfort and my “just get by” kind of life. I got by, but at what cost? How more could I have grow if I would have focused on the Father and what he is calling me to? How more could I have a better grasp on what to read and study to become a better kingdom builder?
My teammates called me out and up. I got feedback like “I feel that you are just lost in your own head” or “It seems as if you have something good to say a lot, but don’t, I think you need to speak out more.” People know when you are not living to your full potential when you live with one another like we do. It was time to face the music, to face the question that forces me to work.
“What do you want to look like at the end of this race?”
That version of me looks a lot different then this one. He is bold and unashamed of the gospel, living by extreme faith, ready to take the 10/40 window on by storm and light it up! A mentality of “I have God, what could man do to me?” That’s what I want, that is my Father’s business, but that means I have some work to do.
So much work in fact that I looked at that version of me and thought “That will never happen.” I have all kinds of doubts, what if I can’t reach that point of extreme faith? Every “what if” you could imagine. Then I just got mad! Why not? What is stopping God from taking me and shaping me into a sin smashing, radical kingdom builder!? I got mad at myself, I am tired of the weak thinking! So ask me, will I “just get by” from now on? No! Am I scared? Of course I am, but if you never get scared your not doing it right.
Why am I here? To be about my Father’s business.
Luke 2:49-“And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father’s business?”
