I can feel them braking. The wall that keeps me from being truly intimate with Christ. After years of sinful thoughts and actions a wall has formed between me and my savoir, sin has constructed this barrier. And finally after staying as true to Him as I can, fighting my sinful nature, denying myself to have more of Christ. Dying to myself everyday as best I can.
Luke 9:23 “Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily”
Read it again. GO READ IT AGAIN! DENY YOURSELF! He is so worth it.
Last night a few friends of mine invited me to a worship night. I thought to myself “Hey maybe I can find some people to donate to my mission!” So I went with great enthusiasm. It was intense, intimate, powerful. To be totally honest this kind of intense worship would make me uncomfortable. But I decided to take a note from my mentor “Jesus was not comfortable on the cross”. So I tried has hard as I could to push past the uncomfortable reaction. I focused on God. On my savoir. How He as blessed me with His love.
As the opening prayer closed we started into worship. My friends started playing, just piano, a drum set, and eight set of lungs. Halfway though the first song I was on my knees with my head on the stage. I prayed to God to help me surrender to Him. To take my burdens. And the most amazing thing happened.
He did.
He did. What did I expect? I felt as if I was standing with chains on my shoulders and I grabbed one at a time and threw them to the wind praying Jesus would catch them.
He did.
He took my burdens! He took the presser off, reminding me that I am not in this alone. That where I stand Jesus stands with me and all of His power.
I stand here with this King in me.
I wept. I cried. I don’t deserve this. Why save me? What makes me special!? Why am I saved and others not? Then the Lord gave me a thought: Because they don’t know.
At the end of the night we prayed for my friends. Not one person mentioned my mission trip, and I was glad. It does not always have to be about me, but it always as to be about God. He is the main character in this story and every other story in the world, wither we know it or not.
The worship was bone shattering. It shocked me to my core. We started at eight O’clock, we ended at midnight. By the end I was spirally drained. I could not give anything else. He took all my chains, I felt free. I may have a long way to go in my walk with God and with my funds for this mission, but I must trust in Him. I feel the walls braking, and right now I can see only a glimpse of his beauty. I am so overwhelmed. I can’t wait for the day when I bust though that wall and run desperately at my God, my Savoir, my King.
-Luke
