When you board an airplane one of the things they tell you is that in the case of an emergency you should apply your own oxygen mask before you assist others in putting theirs on. I think the same rule applies to relationships and emotional health.You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Though I’ve been boarding my fair share of jets recently and hearing this warning, I haven’t been living it out. Shortly after returning home from my own eleven month journey I committed to leading a trip for three months. However, I wasn’t home long enough to fully process everything.
I made the decision to come lead this trip for two reasons. I felt like it was what the Lord was calling me to do and I wanted to solidify the lessons I had learned while I was on my Race. One of the best ways to learn something is to teach it. I thought leading and teaching a team would help me solidify what I had learned on the World Race and it has. I’ve been surprised at the questions about the Bible, identity, and spiritual health that I’ve been able to answer.
One of the biggest lessons I was learning was about my desire for harmony and how I go to others for affirmation about decisions I’m going to make. It’s a form of people pleasing. It’s easier for me to make a decision if someone I trust said it was wise to do so. Making a decision simply because I trust myself is harder. In the name of growth, I said yes to leading without counsel. What I didn’t realize was how much I was saying no to in saying yes.
I was saying no to being home.
I was saying no to resettling my own foundations.
I was saying no to pouring back into relationships.
I was saying no to myself.
Which is supposed to be a holy thing, right? The denial of self for the sake of Jesus. It’s what we’re supposed to do. Which is true, it’s just not the only truth.
It’s also true that I’m supposed to love myself as much as my neighbor which is not currently my natural tendency. I’m not saying I’m never selfish. There’s a jar of team peanut butter that tempts me everyday and reminds me that I am not entirely selfless. But I’ve taken not wanting to be selfish to the extreme of self sacrificing. I don’t think that’s what God wants for us. God is a perfect father and good fathers want things for their children not something from them. He doesn’t want or need me to sacrifice myself in order to gain His love or do His will.
So how do I put my own oxygen mask on while I’m still leading a trip and showing up for others? I learn to rest.
Rest is one of the most powerful gifts God has given us. In Mark 4, Jesus was able to calm winds and quiet waves because He knew how to rest in the midst of the storm. Jesus wasn’t affected by His circumstances which is exactly why He was able to affect them. He wasn’t shut off to His emotions or in denial, He was just living out of a place of rest.
I’m learning that even though my circumstances can be overwhelming I can still rest. Even in the midst of serving others I can still put on my own oxygen mask.
