Training Camp is a ten day event where Adventures prepares you for life on the field. This is done by a series of experiences like eating cultural themed meals, team building exercises, and teachings that cause you to feel every emotion your body can muster.
A leadership team is in place to divide my squad of 31 into teams of 6-7. Through out training camp, the leadership team has one-on-one sessions with the racers to see how they’re doing. Here’s the truth I learned during one-on-one that took me to Wreck-zechoslovakia.
I was meeting with my squad mentor Wise Ben, who looks like The Dude from The Big Lebowski and has the heart of Mr. Rogers. I told him about one team building exercise that frustrated me because we didn’t finish it. The goal was for a group of six of my team members and I to balance a hula hoop on our out pointed index fingers and lower it to the ground.
I can’t begin to describe the frustration of not being able to drop something properly.
Wise Ben asked me if I thought completing a task or learning from the process was more important. I knew the right answer was learning from the process and when I told him, he asked me what the fruit of my life showed. It didn’t take much contemplation to know completing the task was clearly the priority in my life. Then he asked why I didn’t have grace for myself if I knew that learning was more important.
Because if know what I’m supposed to be doing and can’t do it isn’t The Lord disappointed in me?
Wise Ben let me sit in that answer for a minute. Then he told me I needed to learn to be still in front of The Lord. I knew he was right. But sitting in front of the The Lord is hard for me. I never feel like I hear anything. Yet that’s what I feel like I need to learn to do. So trusting Wise Ben I walked away from my one-on-one and went and sat by myself in a field.
I still didn’t hear anything. I sat out there for a good hour waiting in silence. Even the crickets seemed to take a break from their chirping.
It wasn’t till I was walking back to the squad and looking remarkably similar to Charlie Brown that I thought I would give The Lord one more shot. I told The Lord how frustrated I was and didn’t think anything was going to happen.
And I heard him ask if I was okay being with him. Not to complete anything, just to be with him.
I realized then that every time I had sat down to listen to The Lord I was waiting for instructions for my next hula hoop. What was the plan for progress? I thought for a long time that progress in my faith was being able to clearly hear from The Lord. So I desperately wanted to hear from The Lord, not to know his heart, but to feel I was making progress in my walk.
I’m learning that The Lord cares less about me getting gold stars and more about me learning to spend time in his presence. It’s still new to me and I’m finding I like this way better than mine.
