HONESTY TIME:
I’ve been avoiding writing this blog because it feels really super christian and there’s a huge part of me that cringes at the thought of having a really super christian blog.
Which is a bit silly because I’m on a mission trip going to 11 countries telling people about Jesus and figuring out what it means to be his hands and feet. So why the contradicting emotions you ask? Because when you decide to be honest there’s a certain amount of control you lose. Especially when you’re honest over something like a blog. I can’t see your face when you’re reading this and figuring out if it’s landing or if you even care about what I’m saying feels a bit scary. However, I’m sure if my wise friend Steven Pressfield heard me talking about being scared to write he would punch me in the face with his foot.
Here’s the thing I’ve been avoiding saying:
The lesson I’ve learning this month is that God enjoys and loves me and that’s what I’m called to step into everyday because that’s what I was created for.
Earlier this month I thought the thing I was supposed to step into was getting before the Lord and hearing truth for the team I’m on and sharing that with them. I even had some distractions I was willing to release so I could better hear for my team. Noble right?
Then once I sat before the Lord what I heard was that I need to let myself be loved by Him.
*record scratch*
I went back an forth with God on this because I thought I was supposed to be hearing for others and putting on my prophet super hero cape and flying in with truth from God. And instead what God wanted me to do was step into intimacy with Him. He didn’t want me to be so concerned with what was going on in my world around me. He wanted me to trust him with the others around me and wanted me to focus on my relationship with him. Which in ways felt scarier because there’s much less control in that.
I believe we were made for God’s glory (Isaiah 43:1-7) and part of that is learning to be loved by him.
