In less than 24 hours from now, I will be on a plane headed to Atlanta to meet up with all of my squad mates, where we will be beginning this crazy journey of ours. Current state of mind: Ready or not, here I go. There is soooo much to get done before heading to the airport tomorrow morning. I’ve barely started packing, still have good-byes to say, a long to-do list to complete, and plenty of food I still want to eat. However, I sit here, with my feet propped up on the coffee table, laptop open on my lap, my precious dogs cuddled up on each side of me, and the latest episode of Project Runway playing on the TV. A girl’s gotta get caught up on her DVR. I mean priorities, right?? 🙂 Yesterday, I felt so overwhelmed by all the stuff I needed to get done before leaving. This morning, I’ve come to the realization that no matter what I get done or don’t get done, whether I’m ready or not, here I go.
When the time comes, and it is quickly approaching, I may or may not be fully prepared to go, in terms of my “list”, but what’s important is that my mind and heart is prepared and ready to go. As I said good-bye yesterday to people who are very special to me, I started to feel a little anxious (and not a good anxious) and scared about leaving. I began asking myself what in the world were you thinking to sign up for something that would take you out of the country for nearly a year? I know I will be back, but 11 months is a long time to not be a part of my sister’s ….. my best friend’s …. my family’s lives. I never expected the leaving part to be so hard, but it’s definitely been rough. How do I leave knowing it’s likely that one of dogs probably won’t live beyond the next 11 months? How do I leave at a time when my best friend needs me most?
Me and my one and only sister. The bestest friend a girl could ask for! The 2nd bestest friend a girl could ask for. 🙂
Filled with all of these thoughts and worries, I knew I had to focus more on preparing my heart than packing my backpack. Here’s the thing. Throughout the Bible, Jesus tells us to “Go!” He doesn’t instruct us to stay or to chase after what makes us comfortable. He says, “Go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19). “Go into all the world and preach the Good News to all creation” (Mark 16:15). I must go. There’s all there is to it. And I am ready. I am so ready to let go of the life I know, only to find the life God has planned for me – “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 10:39). Not only will my life be better for what I’m doing, and also all who I meet over the next 11 months, but I will be a better sister, daughter, friend to those whom I love because I am leaving them to follow the path God set for me.
Okay, world, READY OR NOT, HERE WE COME!
Team RHEMA
