Have you ever been asked who you are most like in the Bible? I know that may sound like a strange question to some of you, but on the Race, you’d be surprised how often this topic of discussion comes up. Not being a Bible scholar myself, I never have a good answer to this question. The other night, while reading through the book of Matthew, particularly chapter 26, I had a feeling that I may be like Peter, the disciple. While Jesus is in the garden of Gethsemane praying alone, Peter is supposed to be “keeping vigil” (Matthew 26:36-46). Jesus returns to find his disciples, including Peter, sound asleep. It was Jesus’ rebuke that made me ask myself … Am I a Peter?
As I read those verses, I felt like I was being the one reprimanded. There have been many times where I’m attempting to spend time in prayer or in His word, and I find myself napping instead. I don’t intentionally fall asleep, but I do. It’s like it says in verse 43, They simply couldn’t keep their eyes open. I try to stay focused, but I often doze off. It’s just as it says above, “I am very eager, ready for anything in God,” but at the same time, I’m lazy. After reading this, I was sure I was a Peter.
This happens more than once, Jesus finding Peter sleeping instead of praying. Jesus goes back into the garden and returns a few times. Each time he returns, he finds Peter sleeping. What you also must know is that just before arriving to the garden of Gethsemane, Peter learns that he will deny Jesus three times before the rooster crows. Peter protests, saying, “Even if I had to die with you, I would never deny you” (v.35). So, here, Peter confesses his devotion to Jesus, to the point of being willing to die to avoid denying him, but in the next moment, Peter cannot even stay awake long enough to pray for Jesus. What does this say of his devotion?
Again, I could totally relate to Peter. This month we’re living in Vietnam, where it’s legal to be a Christian but illegal to evangelize or gather locals for the sake of sharing the Word. You can be Christian – just don’t be overt about it and don’t share your beliefs with the citizens. Christian organizations and groups struggle with being repressed by the local government, and for their sake, we were at one point encouraged to deny our faith if asked when having discussions with people we haven’t already established a relationship with. I was taken aback by this. I should deny that I’m a Christian, or just not admit it, if I’m asked?!? I shared with my teammates that I wasn’t comfortable with that request. There’s no way I could or would deny Jesus. Sound familiar? Just as Peter proclaimed to Jesus, I declared to my team that I wouldn’t deny my faith if asked.
Matthew concludes chapter 26 with Peter’s repeated denials of Jesus (v. 69-75). As I read this, I began to think that maybe I’m not a Peter. Because as I said, I refused to deny Jesus. But then again, so did Peter. The difference is that at this time, I haven’t been put in any situation where I’ve had to profess my faith in Jesus in the face of repercussion or danger. I’d like to think that when facing such moments, I’d stick to my guns and not deny Jesus, but I’m sure Peter had the same expectations of himself as I have of myself.
So am I a Peter? The jury’s still out on that one. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. We definitely have similiarities but at the same time, we're different. I read Peter’s books in the Bible. I really still can’t say one way or another, but the book of 1 Peter excited me so much that I had to read it aloud to my team. I’m definitely eager to learn more and study about Peter.
