I can and cannot believe that I’m at my second location already. At times, it felt like the first month dragged by, but then other times, time seemed to fly by. What I mean is that while it feels like I’ve been away from home for so long, it didn’t seem like I was Romania for very long. Simply put, the time gone from my family and friends doesn’t seem to be equivalent to the time I spent out of the states. I embarked on this journey so excited, not anticipating that I’d miss my life back home. I’ve always thought travel and extended missions was in my future because I felt like I could be away from home and be okay with it. One month into the World Race, and I’m already rethinking my feelings about choosing a career that would take me away from home a lot. Then again, maybe this is harder because my friends and family aren’t just a phone call or a plane ride away. I mean, they are, technically, but being on the World Race, I don’t have the luxury have being in constant contact or the ability to fly home for a visit. I knew when I signed up for the World Race that I was relinquishing my rights to a lot of things, but I guess I didn’t expect it to affect me as much as it has. But then again, I knew this wouldn’t be an easy journey. God is going to challenge me, and at the same time, Satan is going to try to discourage me. What doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger …. right?!
I’m spending this month in Moldova with only my team, and boy, we are a motley group of individuals. Each of us brings something different to the table, which always keeps things interesting. I’m sometimes challenged by my group because it’s hard to relate to them, and them to me, due to the difference in age and life experience. I know God placed us all together to learn from one another, and they are so kind to remind me that they need me here, to be their “rock” (as one person put it). I feel like I need to be the strong one for the group, and I definitely don’t mean physically strong because that’s definitely Natalie (you go girl!). As much as I love looking after this little family of mine, I have found myself struggling with not having a “rock” myself to lean on. In the times of doubt , fear, and loneliness, I, too, need that source of strength. Over the past week, I’ve really struggled with missing my support system at home. I just wanted to run to my best friend, my sister, etc, to reassure me or comfort me. After talking it through with some of my fellow teammates, I realized the lesson God was trying to teach me. I’m sure as you read this, it is obvious what became clear to me as I processed what I was feeling and thinking. I do have a rock, a source of strength; I have God. Duh! (mental head slap) God is my rock. He is my comforter. "The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold" (Psalm 18:2).
At home, in times of distress, I have people that I run to. If not for being taken away from them and placed on the other side of the world, I may have never utilized God to His heart’s desire. God wants to be our best friend. At my church back home, they teach the kids that Jesus is their forever friend. I think that’s a great way to build a relationship with Jesus, with God, to realize early on that He is our friend. While He is this all-powerful, all-knowing God, whom we respect and honor, He wants us to also view Him as our companion, our confidant, an ever-reliable, unconditional support system. Figuring this out and being intentional about building such a “friendship” with God has been a tremendous help in overcoming my feelings of loneliness and isolation. With that said, oh what I’d give for a hug from several of you reading this. 🙂
Please continue to pray for me and feel free to send me emails! There's nothing better than having an actual email from a person waiting for me when I do get to check my email.
