Be alarmed at this title. Because everything i’m about to say is 100% from the heart. Maybe my most vulnerable blog yet, so here goes.
some context: this weekend, my world race squad had a long weekend due to labor day. So for my teammate Bradley’s birthday some of us decided to take a trip from home in the capital city to the coast, to the cutest little beach town called canoa.
what a fun weekend! we beached it up. Body surfed, made friends with lots of locals & tourist, might’ve eaten shrimp for every meal. whoops. and you already know we did our absolute best to get our tan on. However, in a matter of a few wrong decisions my whole weekend changed. Went from a fun weekend with some of my favorite people, to the weekend that my whole life flashed before my very own eyes.
unlike i am suppose to, i strayed a bit of a way from my group yesterday afternoon. Thinking, it’s fine and that i was simply walking along the shore line of the beach enjoying the scenery. When all of a sudden my focus was turned to a man who shouted to get my attention by saying, “Hola Chico!” i gave him a nice smile and a very subtle wave. Then, he signaled for me to come to him, and figuring that he was probably going to offer me drugs, i simply said, “No Gracias!” It was in this moment, that i thought i really should turn around and head back down to my friends who were some feet away. Then i thought, it’s probably fine. I continued walking slowly along the shore line & then in a few seconds i realized that the man i saw was coming up on me. I thought to myself, “this man is going to try and rob me, but he isn’t bigger than me, so i am fine.” Walking a little faster, and a little worried i continued in my thoughts and tried to take caution. It was when he was within just a few feet of me that he pulled a gun out of no where and suddenly it was to my head. He told me to give him my phone, but luckily i did not have it on me. I told him i didn’t have anything worth his time, which is then when he told me to give him my money. Again, Luckily i didn’t have my wallet, but i did have $22.25 which i of course, with a gun pressed to my temple i gave him very willingly. Still sucked, because that kind of money can go a long way for a young, broke missionary. Then i begged this guy to release me. It was then, that he told me he was going to kill me. I responded the way any grown man would. Yep you guessed it. i started crying my eyes out like a complete child. He told me again, “i am going to kill you.” i begged and pleaded. I told him, “my friends will know i am missing. please let me go!!” He has no remorse. “Give me your watch.” Of course it wasn’t even my watch, but it was my friend Rodrigo’s that he had been letting me wear. “Es mi Amigo’s.” i told him. “Please.” He told me for the third time, “i will kill you right now.” Terrified i said, “Okay, just let me go and you can have it.” He removed the watch from my wrist, and put it into is pocket along with my $22.25. He then, shoved me into the ground and i barrel rolled and ran with all my might & speed. Screaming for my friends, as well as screaming for help. Helpless. Returned to my friends left in tears. Lost my whole sense of security. My emotional state was now more vulnerable than ever. I literally looked death in the face.
Now, i face the hardest part. Moving on. Understanding how the Lord could possibly use this situation for my good & His glory. I’m left seeing all the things i could’ve done better. I’m left seeing the whole situation with 20/20 vision. I’m left wishing i would’ve never strayed away from the group the bit i did. I’m left being scared to be alone. I’m left replaying the situation over and over again in my head. I’m left with Anger. Anger, that i was not only robbed of my belongings but also my sense of comfort and security. I’m left having the shockingly perfect image of this man’s outfit and face. I’m left wondering, what could have happened to this man that was so bad that he is forced to live a life of crime and no remorse for people.
So there you have it. The World Race isn’t always easy. In fact, it usually isn’t. The reality of this is, this has happened to many others in the history of the Race. Not because of anything the organization is doing, but because we live in a completely broken world that needs more and more of our Jesus.
So to the guy who robbed me of so much more than my belongings:
I want you to know the pain you’ve traded me. I have not completely forgiven you in my heart. I’m struggling to see the reasoning for our path’s crossing. But, i will forgive you eventually. Because with pain, you’ve some how brought me testimony. I will not let the enemy use this to break me, or to ruin the last month of my race for me. Satan, didn’t win and neither did you. But know this — i am praying for you. I can’t imagine the things you must have gone through in your life. I can’t imagine the pain you must feel of seeing people in utter fear. And not gonna lie, i hope my watch annoys you when it goes off at 6 am every morning. I will forgive you.
Yeah — this is all real. Seriously, i need prayer. This didn’t make my life any easier, and with being so home sick recently, this only makes my desire for home even more. But i’m here. I’m in Ecuador. I’m here for Mission. I will finish strong. 33 days. Let’s finish this. Intercede for me. Thanks for supporting me through all of this. I love everyone who is following this journey and i want you to know what i’m really feeling, struggling, & succeeding with. So here it is. Hope this blog was if nothing else, an eye opener for how lucky we are to be alive.
Drop your thoughts below if ya wanna. Thanks for reading!
