God’s timing, it’s amazing. He is sovereign and truly all-knowing. He really does know each of our hearts and we really can’t hide from him or ourselves; if we have any kind of thought or feeling, he already knows it. It doesnt’ matter if we’ve talked about it or even acknowledged it, he is all-knowing and powerful.
Let me tell you, the enemy truly did try to get a hold on my heart! I want to first prelude this blog with this: many of you know I had plans to graduate and go to PA school for two years (Physician’s Assistant), and I still want to go to PA school! I have always loved science—genetics, biology, chemistry—and I’ve always wanted to go into medicine. I spent two years at Moffitt Cancer Center and I found that I love working in and learning about oncology, so this was my plan! Despite the fact that I had this conviction in my heart to go overseas and follow Jesus, right now!
In August I sent out my application, I applied to 8 schools, knowing I had a decent GPA, rigorous major, shadowing, a pretty good narrative, and some different types of clinical experience. This was my plan! I’d to go PA school, get a great job, THEN I could go on a mission trip after, if I felt like giving up my comfort and trusting God… Well, right away within the first 3 months I got SIX rejections. No interviews, just six rejections. It stung, and with each rejection, I said, “OK GOD, I GET IT, this is not in your plan right now.” So my heart for missions continued to grow, and I basically just prayed that God would give me the courage to just do whatever he designed for me to do in these next few months and years. I applied for the World Race and got accepted, I knew this was it! I was bummed about PA school, but I couldn’t help but have joy knowing I was finally trusting God, surrendering my plans, and just delighting in the ways he is going to use me to bring glory to the kingdom!
Last night my dad asked “So what are you going to do if you get accepted to either of the two PA schools you’re waiting to hear back from?” Without a question, I said “Well I wouldn’t go, I’m committed to the race!” It shocked them because I have always had these plans to be a PA, and I was always the type that wasn’t really about taking time off from school because I’ve simply always LOVED school and I love my major! They have always known I was going to travel and do mission work at some point, but weren’t sure when that would really be (and clearly neither did I)! So basically through this conversation we had together, I started feeling super down, and questioning myself! Like am I crazy for doing this? Am I too impulsive? What if I did get an acceptance to one of those two schools in California? Guys this is the enemy! The truth is, I let those insecurities in my head take hold, and in those brief moments of flattering those insecurities, I was not trusting God! A good friend once told me that when you’re fully surrendered to God and trusting and following him, he has you right where he wants you! Right. Where. He. Wants. You. So I prayed and reminded myself that I am relying on God and he IS using me right here, right now, and he is going to use me on the World Race.
OK, I’m getting to the point!!! So this morning I get up around eight and check my emails. There they were, BOTH schools, I finally heard back! And not to my surprise, BOTH had turned me down, no interview, just two rejections. God is here. He is present. He is working. He will not let the enemy win! He does not want these insecurities on my heart holding me back from complete and total trust in him, and most of all he does not want us to falling into believing these lies and insecurities based on fear! After I read my emails, I couldn’t help but praise God, because despite the fact that ,YES, I got eight rejections from great graduate programs, I am reminded this morning that I am following Jesus, and that is the -sweetest most fulfilling thing in the world! Praise the Lord!
I am mailing out my support letters today and also giving away canvases with various types of artwork to my supporters! I have a financial deadline coming and if you would like to partner with me you can click on the “Support Me” tab on my blog or partner in prayer for my squad and I as we prepare in these next few months for training camp in July and our launch in September! XoXoXo LOVE YOU ALL!!!
