So I’ve been out on the field now for a little over 5 months. It doesn’t feel real, and yet month 1 in Uganda seems like it was years ago. Crazy right? Time is flying by, but it seems like I’ve been gone for years. I’m currently in Kathmandu, Nepal, getting ready to leave the city and head into a village for the month working with two other teams to rebuild an orphanage destroyed in the earthquake. I’m currently in a season of change; a new team, new country, new year, and new culture. That being said, the Lord has been revealing a lot to me the past few months and I’m pumped to continue doing ministry here in Asia, and soon, Southeast Asia!
I was going to post an update about ministry in India but the Lord put it on my heart to write a little bit about what He’s been teaching me through community, ministry, and time spent with Him.
My squad had month 4 debrief in Kathmandu this past week and all our leadership flew in, including squad mentors and squad coaches. One of my squad coaches asked me something along the lines of “What’s one thing you’ve learned the last four months”? I thought it would take me a while to come up with something, because honestly there are a lot of things I’ve learned about myself, community, and God.
The Lord has just been continually revealing the simplicity of his love for me. It’s been replaying in my mind. It really is so simple. God’s greatest desire for us is intimacy with him. There’s nothing I have to do. Nothing I have to say or be. I don’t have to fake anything or hide anything. I don’t have to strive for anything! I can boldly approach the throne of God, and rest in His presence whenever and wherever I am. I can sit, arms raised, giving praise to my redeemer. There’s so much freedom in being both completely known and completely loved by God.
I’ve noticed that instead of asking for more of God and who He is, we tend to ask for God to change our circumstances or give us things we want. Instead of asking for the Spirit of God to rule our hearts and minds, we beg for things that hold us captive. We talk a lot about having a relationship with the Lord, but most of us don’t understand the depth of intimacy that the God of the universe desires with us. We slide by with a mere surface level relationship, missing out on what God has to say to us, where He might be leading us, or what gifts He’s given us for the benefit of the Kingdom.
I’m convinced that a lot of Christians still hold on to insecurities, wounds, and unforgiveness because they lack intimacy with God. Lack of intimacy with God leads to feeling unloved, unheard, and lost. These feelings, whether conscious or subconscious, tend to manifest in a need for approval, dependent relationships, a false-sense of humility, and development of false identities. We get so easily offended because we don’t carry with us the confidence and truth that God is our defender. The fact is all these things hold us in captivity and keep us from authenticity and wholeness in God.
My word for the last four months is FREEDOM! God is freedom. In Galatians it says “It is for freedom that you have been set free”! Jesus didn’t suffer and die on that cross for some superficial relationship. He died so that we could obtain salvation and walk in the freedom of being completely known and loved. We so easily miss the mark by putting God in a box and feeling like we have to constantly “keep up” to ensure were good with God. Read enough scripture, do some good deeds, pray regularly. These things are all great, but we so easily put ourselves in bondage and miss out on intimacy with God if we think we have to do things to earn grace and have our ish together 24/7 in the presence of God.
God wants authenticity, I mean He of all people always gets us and understands where we’re at! Most of the time authenticity requires rawness and vulnerability. It requires that we speak things out that hold us captive by laying down our pride and the need to be “put together”. Sometimes we have to sit and hangout in the valley and wait for the the light of the Lord to show up in darkness.
When it comes down to it, intimacy is really what it’s all about. God imparts the beautiful parts of himself – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control – in us when we humbly lay at the throne with hands open to more of Him and whatever he is asking us to do. I see this more and more the longer I’m out on the field. I see the mercy of God in my teammates, I see the patience of God in my teammates, I see the joy of the Lord in my teammates. I see God’s sovereignty in all circumstances. I see him speaking through His people and planting seeds all around the world. I see the Lord bringing the Kingdom to Earth through his children who have chosen to walk in their identities as sons and daughters of the King – known, worthy, and wonderfully made.
Thank you so much to my financial supporters! I’m fully funded!!! Thank you thank you!!! If you are a monthly donor you can stop your donations now! Also thank you to my wonderful prayer warriors! Love you guys so much! Pray for health this month as most of my squad is sick with colds, the flu, and stomach bugs.
