"I believe there are some orphans in this room tonight!" The speaker's eyes searched the room intently. It was Thursday night at Training Camp and he was addressing the July 2013 squads. Over 200 of us un-showered and exhausted Racers were crowded into the open-air pavilion. We were standing, ready for worship and ready to receive the Lord.
As tired as I was, it took me a few seconds to realize he was using a metaphor. Feeling like orphans as opposed to actually being orphans. It was a mentality. I began to ponder this statement and quickly came to the conclusion that I have never felt like an orphan, therefore this message wasn't for me. Finally, a chance to relax my mind during the business of the week. But I couldn't tune this guy out; there was something about him that gently demanded your attention.
My focus was pulled back in as he went on to describe the typical scene when he entered orphanages in any country. It was always a rush of children with arms open ready to receive love. Smiles and joy on the surface, but the underlying desperation was palpable in the shoves and elbowing to be the first in line. They are desperate because they know the love will come in a limited supply. No matter how many hugs, smiles, and whispered "I love you"s they receive, the giver will be leaving. Time will pass quickly and once again they will be left in need.
He continued on speaking, but my mind was racing. Then it clicked. With an overwhelming wave of sadness I realized that I had been living with an orphan mentality. The act of desperately running to be first in line to receive love, "knowing" it would come in a limited supply, and "knowing" it would eventually be gone. I was acting like an orphan with my Heavenly Father. But why? All of the scripture I had studied, the sermons I had heard, and loving words God had spoken rushed over me. As these puzzle pieces fell into place I heard, "I will never leave you nor forsake you. Nothing can separate you from my love."
Then the revelation. I had been desperately seeking the "mountain top" worship experiences, the time I could hear His words to me, and the miraculous signs. I had believed that love and relationship growth was absent outside of these times. But our meeting place is not only there. God is always with me therefore we can meet in love anywhere at anytime. It does not matter where I am in life, I am always covered by the Father's love. I always have access to Him, I always have the opportunity to grow.
A deep cleansing breath. A new clarity. "You can cease your striving now my child." A glimpse of what a life without the orphan mentality is like.
A renewed determination to reach the real orphans with the love of Christ so that their desperation and striving may also cease.
