A woman named Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth from the city of Thyatira, who worshiped God, was listening. The Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what was spoken by Paul. After she and her household were baptized, she urged us, ‘If you consider me a believer in the Lord, come and stay at my house.’ And she persuaded us….After leaving the jail, they came to Lydia’s house where they saw and encouraged the brothers, and departed.
-Acts 16: 14-15, 40, HCSB
Where Do I Go from Here?
Writing this blog has not been easy. As I’ve written I have struggled with feelings of pride, of insignificance, of not really believing what I’m writing. I am, however, trusting God to use it for His purpose. As He is doing this marvelous work in my life and accomplishing this huge heart transformation, I am working to trust in Him fully.
I’ve made a few mistakes along the way, like immediately thinking: How do I pick a new lifelong goal? Am I qualified for anything? Do I have enough drive and passion? I should’ve started this years ago!
But that’s when I get ahead of myself again. Because God never wanted me to be under The Marriage Assumption, and He also doesn’t want me to be under The Nonprofit Coordinator Decision or The Long Term Missionary Correlation.
What God wants is my trust and obedience to whatever He calls me to in life whenever He calls me to it. God wants me to lay down ALL of my desires at the foot of the Cross. Then, when I am totally depending on Him, a new dream will bloom in my heart. A desire so intense and profound it can only be from the Lord. And the power of my Almighty God can bring me the desire of my heart in an instant.
That is my new goal. To be free from all assumptions, decisions, and correlations. To live in a place where I am at peace with my Savior and my life definition comes from being His. Husband and kids not a necessity.
