Month 8 of my Race in Thailand brought about the much anticipated PVT. “What is a PVT?” you may ask. It is a Racer’s dream come true, worst nightmare, or a weird combination of the two. PVT is the Parent Vision Trip: an optional week to invite your parent(s) to join in on the Race and somewhat experience what your life has been like while you’ve been gone.
For me, PVT was shaping up to be a dream come true. I invited my dad, Todd, to come to Chaing Mai. I honestly could not have been more excited about the trip; I envisioned this time as a mini vacation from the Race. Roughly six days of hanging out with my Dad, going out to eat, riding elephants, and simply enjoying a small taste of home. So, when we sat down with our PVT leaders just hours before the parents arrived, I wasn’t prepared for what they had to say. “Remember this week that you are still on the Race. This is not a time of vacation with your parents. This is an opportunity to bring them in, to experience what ministry and worship and feedback is like. This is the time to have real conversations. This week will also be a small example of what your life will be like after reentry.” The sudden realization that I hadn’t actually prepared myself for any of this was like hitting a brick wall. As soon as the meeting finished I hustled off to my hotel room, whipped out my journal, and began to write my prayers.
A minor freak out session ensued. I went from a “happy-go-lucky vacation” mentality to a “this week proves if the Race has actually changed me or not” mentality. Thankfully I have an awesome God and incredible friends who were able to talk me off the ledge I had created for myself. So, before my dad arrived late that night I had decided a couple of things. This week was still going to be fun. I was going to let the Holy Spirit guide any “serious” conversations we may need to have. And, most importantly, I was going to try to maintain grace for both my dad and myself.
The week ended up being incredible. I had so much fun with my dad exploring the city, hanging out in our hotel room, going to worship sessions, doing ministry- just everything. When the last day of the trip rolled around, a full free day, I was sure we were in the clear. We headed out that morning with a few other Racer/parent groups to ride elephants and then bamboo raft down a river. What could possibly go wrong?
After riding elephants, dad and I got into an argument…in front of everyone…over something really stupid. An apology was attempted within minutes, but both parties were not truly willing to let go of their side. I got frustrated immediately and could begin to feel myself shutdown. This is exactly what I did not want to happen. This was the old me, the me before coming on the Race. So when dad jokingly referred to the stuation as, “Classic Logan and Todd,” I didn’t laugh. I felt all of my confidence, all of my growth on the Race, begin to slip through my fingers. Had I really changed at all?
Here’s the thing about exercising grace towards yourself and others: it takes practice, typically a lot of practice. God giving grace is natural. Humans giving grace is an ongoing work of God. Don’t expect to be perfect the first time.
Later that day, after a lot of prayer, I talked to my dad about what had happened. Actually, it was more than talking, it was legitimate World Race-style feedback. I apologized for my end of things and gently pointed out where he had erred. Then I suggested a better, more God-honoring way we could handle this kind of situation in the future. And you know what happened? He completely agreed with me!
You see, I have changed on the Race. It isn’t always going to be evident. I’m not always going to react or do things the way I should, but that doesn’t negate all of the amazing things God has done in my life over the past 10 months. Getting to have this experience with my dad has shown me that reentry, or going back to the “real world”, is going to be difficult and challenging at times, but it’s not going to be impossible. Not everything has changed, but God is always working in my life to complete the good work He already started.
