I had one of those realizations today. The kind that brings instant conviction and requires that you make a decision. Yeah, it was one of those.
Since arriving home from the Race, I’ve struggled with feeling distant from the Lord. Even when I have a consistent daily quiet time, try to seek His will, and pray as often as I remember to, it’s just not like being on the Race.
So I sit around and feel sorry for myself, lamenting over a time where my whole life was missions work. I felt so much closer to the Lord when I was actively and daily serving Jesus. Ministry was my job. I was constantly surrounded by people who had the same goal of serving Him and were helping me grow in my own relationship. I crave those worship nights, prayer meetings, and, dare I say it, even feedback.
And as I was really digging my pit of self-pity today, the Holy Spirit hit me hard.
You want your life to be all about Jesus,
but you are not willing to make your life all about Jesus.
Ouch. The truth hurts sometimes.
All of the advice I had been given about re-entry came rushing back, but with new meaning. I suddenly saw, “God is the same God in the USA that He is in Swaziland,” in a whole new light. God is the same. It’s me that’s behaving differently.
I can’t sit around at home just counting the days until I leave the country again to make my life all about Jesus. Because the fact of the matter is I may not always be “out on the mission field”, but I am always “on the mission field.” So I need to realize that if I want to be daily serving Jesus I don’t have to wait for a flight to Africa, I need to be looking around in Richmond at the Kingdom work He has for me here. And if I want the community I had on the Race, then I need to create it.
These are things God wants for me in the here and now. So if I want my life to be all about Jesus, then I need to make my life all about Jesus.
