This month T Squad has been ministering at El Shaddai, a children’s home in Swaziland. Each of us has been paired with a buddy for the month, and my buddy is Ayanda. He’s a 9 year old goofy, energetic, risktaker whose laugh and smile bring literal joy to my heart. One of my favorite parts of our relationship is that it often reflects my own relationship with God and the lessons He is trying to teach me. I hope these stories encourage and inspire you just like they have done for me.
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On yet another rainy afternoon in Swaziland, Ayanda and I were hanging out in the chapel with about 20 other people. As the room got more crowded, and we got more bored, I became a little desperate for something fun to do. Suddenly remembering that Susan was in the clinic (conveniently located right behind the chapel) I suggested we go make a visit.
I may as well have suggested that we go visit a dark cave filled with monsters. I guess I should have realized sooner that not all children love going to the doctor’s, but I was determined. Explanations were given that nothing was going to be done to him, we were just going to go say hi and ask Susan to show us around. He wasn’t buying it. So, despite his protestations I marched us out into the misty, grey day and went to visit Nurse Susan.
As we entered the office Ayanda kept my arms tightly wrapped around him, shielding himself from anything Susan might do. The little guy didn’t know what he was up against. With a big smile on her face, Susan began to explain what the various medical supplies were used for. The more she talked, the more comfortable Ayanda became. And when she offered him a latex glove blown up like a balloon, he broke free from his self-made cage to receive the gift. By the end of the visit he had a smile on his face and a piece of candy in his pocket.
When we left to go back to the church, I said,
“Did you have fun Ayanda?”
“Yes.”
“Did anything bad happen to you?”
“No.”
“Do you trust me now?”
“Yes, I trust you.”
And then it hit me: How many times have I had this conversation with my Heavenly Father? How many times have I been stuck someplace just searching for a way to get out, but the path He offers seems too scary? Instead of trusting Him, I complain of the difficulty and allow my fears to hold me back. So then I go grumbling and complaining as God drags me along to His plan. Things don’t have to be that difficult, but I make them that way. And then what happens when I get there? God holds me in His arms as the beauty of His plan unfolds and I’m finally trusting enough to step out in faith. And then God asks me,
“Do you trust me Logan?”
“Yes God, I trust you.”
I’m hoping that next time I face a situation like this, I will look past my fears and remember visiting the clinic with Ayanda. Prayerfully I will also remember all of the times my Heavenly Father has faithfully guided me and protected me before, and maybe this time I’ll stop the complaining and willingly take His hand as He leads me.
