Dear Mom,
Happy Birthday!!! I hope your day is filled with lots of love and family just like you always want on your birthdays. I now fondly remember your infamous statement, “All of my children will be with me on my birthday, even if you just sit in the room and stare at me.” While to some that may sound extreme, I know your heart- you love us unconditionally and are happiest when we are there. For that, I love and appreciate you.
While I cannot be there this year to celebrate with you, I want to share with you a truth that I have come to realize now that I am getting to my mid-twenties. This is something that teenager Logan would never have admitted, and swore would cease to be true after reaching a certain age. The older I get, however, the more evident it becomes.
I need my mom.
Sure, I don’t need you the same way I did when I was a little child, but I still need you.
I need your encouragement- Your words of confidence and support over the phone just as I am about to walk into the job interview.
I need your joy- Your big smile and even bigger laugh when we are playing games together as a family.
I need your friendship – Those days when Starbucks and a trip to the mall are completed by sneaking shopping bags into the house and then crashing on the couch together.
I need your vulnerability- When you come to me with your own sadness because it lets me know you need me as well and that it’s ok to hurt.
I need your example- Of how a godly woman pursues the Lord and her marriage, works full-time, and holds a family together.
And so many, many more reasons. But the one I want to thank you for the most was probably the hardest for you to fulfill. When I needed you to let me go, you did.
It was early December and I was standing on the back porch of my house in Lynchburg enjoying the unseasonably warm weather. We were chatting on the phone as you strolled through Target picking out Christmas ornaments and laughing over how ridiculous some of them were. The conversation inevitably turned to the Race. I had been accepted, but as of yet had not committed to actually going. I knew you and Dad both had reservations, and this made me nervous, frustrated, and confused. As I once again began to ask for your opinion, you cut in-
“Logan, as your mother I do not want you traveling around the world and being gone for so long. It makes me nervous. But I know that you are the safest when you are in the center of God’s will, and ultimately that is where I want you to be. So, if God is calling you to the World Race there is nothing I can do to stop you. Your father and I are behind you 100%.”
When you said these words to me, it released the last hesitation inside of me. I needed you, as my mother, to let me go. I can claim to be as independent as I want to be, but when it comes down to it, your support is more important to me than almost any other.
Mommy, I love you from the bottom of my heart. Without you, I literally wouldn’t be where I am today, on the other side of the world to tell others about Jesus. Thank you for being the amazing mother that you are. Thank you for fulfilling my need. Thank you for letting me go.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Love,
Logan
