I'm sure many of my family and friends are wondering how I came to this place of feeling called by God to go on The World Race. I'm sure a good many of them are also wondering what The World Race is. 11 countries in 11 months. Reaching all different cultures, nations, religions, and conditions with the love and hope of Jesus Christ. Being His light to the world.
The first time I heard about the Race was during my sophomore year of college. An older friend of mine was going after graduation and I remember thinking it sounded crazy and cool-something I would love in theory but would most likely never do myself. After that, the Race didn't cross my mind again until almost 4 years later, February of 2012. That was the third time in my life I felt a distinct pull, or callng if you will, towards missions. The first time happened early on in college after listening to a sermon given by a missionary. He had been serving in Africa and as I was listening to Him I felt God asking me, "Would you be willing to do that? Would you go to some place like Africa for me instead of following your own plans?" After the sermon I went up to the front of the church to pray. I told God "Yes." I was scared, but exhilerated. I prayed more in the following days and waited for God to continue to weigh my heart down with the call to missions. Nothing happened. I continued on with my life in college and turned my mind back to my personal goals. Graduating college. Getting married. Starting a family. Being a stay at home mom. This seemed perfect to me. Every once in a while I would get this nagging desire that there was more to life, some purpose I was supposed to accomplish. Some adventure I was supposed to have. I would always push these thoughts away. Crazy awesome stuff like that didn't happen to people like me. This normal life I was striving for is what would bring me perfect happiness- or at least I was trying to convince myself of that fact.
The second time I felt the call to missions was during the summer of 2011. My close friend Lauren was spending her summer in Haiti working with children. I loved getting her email updates of all the challlenges, all the great things God was doing in her life, and especially all of the pictures of the beautiful children she was living with and the amazing scenery surrounding her. Again I felt that tug on my heart. I began to pray asking the Lord what it is He would have me do. Missions didn't fit in my plans. But then why was it when I saw these pictures and read these stories I had a burning desire to be out in the world amongst other people doing something totally out of the ordinary for me? The desire came and went. Life continued.
Less than a year later my life had totally changed. I was graduated from college but living at home with my parents. My nearly 3 year relationship had ended along with my dream of getting married and starting a family in the near future. I was not happy with my job at a medical office, but felt like I was stuck and incapable of moving on to something else. "There has to be something more" was the thought constantly on my mind. So what was more? What about missions? I'd felt called in the past, maybe now was the time. I began to pray again and look up what opportunities there were. This was the most serious I had ever taken this call. I was looking at programs, like Journeyman, and talking to missionaries about how they were led to their particular calling and place. One day at work I was googling mission trips. and the vague memory of a trip where you got to go to a bunch of different countries in about a year came to mind. Through the magic of the internet I found The World Race. I instantly became obsessed. This had to be it! Yeah it was crazy and would stretch me way out of my comfort zone, but life wasn't turning out the way I thought it would anyway. I told my family and close friends. I even started applying to leave in September 2012. This wasn't God's timing though, and deep down I knew that. It took the words of my mentor Courtney to open my eyes to what God was telling me right then. She told me that she knew I was excited about this but to really analyze if this is where God was calling me. There were lessons in my life that God was trying to teach me, where I was in life right then. She said if I went on the Race then I would probably have an amazing time and reach others for Christ, but when I got back God would bring me right back to the place I was. Maybe I would be at a different job or in a different town, but God was not going to let me escape the lessons He was trying to teach me now. I knew I needed to stay. I knew I needed patience and faith that God would lead me where He wanted me in His time. February 2012 was not His time.
The amount of growth I've experienced in the last 10 months is incredible. It took a lot of pain and a lot of God breaking my plans and humbling my heart. It took days of frustration, of tears, of heart ache. It took sacrifice and confession when I had tried to do things my way. But there were also moments, glimpses of Heaven, when my mind was stilled and my heart opened to the Holy Spirit. Through my pain I came to trust and know God in ways I honestly didn't think I would ever reach. I am reminded of the song lyrics that say His love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me.
So in October of 2012 I moved to Lynchburg, VA. After a lot of struggle and difficulty I finally got a job with Liberty University. I moved into the house with Mandy and Nolin that I had been paying rent on since July. I was going to start grad school in 6 months when I started getting free tuition through the college. In a couple of years I would have my masters in education and start teaching high school social studies. Life was finally starting. So why was it that after I finally got what I wanted I felt restless? I still didn't feel the purpose I so desired. If I really thought about it I didn't have the drive for grad school, but I thought it's what I should do. I opened my Bible and God led me to Proverbs 31: 8-9:
for the rights of all who are destitute,
Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.
I felt that call. These scriptures resonated in my being. Was this the time? Was God not only calling me to missions, but more speifically to The World Race? I got excited. I got hesitant. I wanted this so badly, but I had so much experience running ahead of God. I knew the pain of having to be called back. I didn't want to make a mistake again. I made a committment that day to pray for the next month about the Race. I shared my heart with a few close friends. I read the scriptures on missions. I stalked World Race blogs. I wasn't sure. I struggled with being worthy of this. I analyzed my motivations. I overanalyzed everything. And then I came to the edge. To take the leap of faith or not? It was like I was holding my breath. I knew God would catch me when I jumped. Did I trust Him though?
On November 19 I took the leap and applied. I felt God catch me. Two days later I interviewed; one week later I was accepted. On December 7 I committed.
I am SO excited and terrified and about a million other emotions. But one thing I know is that my journey with God has led me to this. The joys, the frustrations, the heart ache were all experiences I needed to get to this point. And The World Race is another experience God is placing in my life to lead me where He wants me.
If you just read all the way through this, thank you! I wasn't intending for this post to be so long but I am a talker and that translates to my writing. I just want to close with some lyrics from the song Called by my sweet friend Anna Natale (annanatalemusic.com). God has used these to speak to my life so specifically:
We all need God, And we all need His Son
We must go into the world
See the broken and the lost
Be the light that shines the way, We must carry the cross
Follow the Holy Spirit's lead
Be the hands and feet of Christ
We must surrender all to Him
'Cause dying to self means being alive
