We all know the game hide and go seek. You gather your friends and play “Eenie meanie miney moe” to determine who the first seeker will be. As they begin to count, the rest of you scurry off to your respective nooks and crannies in hopes of never being found.
I don’t want to brag, but growing up I was a really good hider. I would squeeze into the smallest crevices or climb up the yards tallest tree, in order to outsmart the seeker and secure the winning title.
Unfortunately, my talent of hiding went beyond this fun childhood game. Instead of hiding my physical self from people, I began to hide all of the broken pieces of my life.
I was scared that if I revealed my messy life to others, it would push them away. I was scared of what they would think, how they would react, and ultimately feared rejection. I felt like as long as I could keep those broken pieces hidden, I would be liked and my needs would be met. So that’s what I did. I hid. Every ounce of pain, every hard trial, and every bit of shame. All of them hidden and masked with smiles and laughter so that no one would know that I was struggling. And surprisingly, it seemed to work pretty well.
But, sometimes I would even try to hide things from God (silly, right?) I felt ashamed of my story and unworthy of His love and grace. I didn’t want Him to know that I didn’t have it all together and thought that I could do it on my own (HA!) So instead of asking Him for help, I continued to hide behind my happy façade and get through the hard times alone.
Recently, I was studying John 4 and found myself relating to the woman at the well. Just like her, I was hiding from being truly known. You see, most people would go early in the morning to draw water from the well, but the woman waited until noon. She waited until she knew it wasn’t crowded so she could avoid any judgement or snickering from the other people at the well. She feared that those people would judge her for her imperfect life. She had to have been really thirsty, waiting until the middle of the day to get her water. Wishing that she didn’t have to go to the well at all, wishing she didn’t have to come out of hiding. But then when she got there she met Jesus. He said, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” (John 4:13-15) She wanted the water Jesus spoke of so that she wouldn’t have to come to the well anymore. She wanted to stay in her hiding place avoiding potential pain.
“Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” (John 4: 16-18)
When Jesus asked about her husband, she replied, “I don’t have a husband” stating a little bit of the truth, but not enough to reveal all of her brokenness (anyone else relate to that?) Jesus then continued to exploit her shame, which in a way could have been really mean, except He was the answer to her problems.
You see, God loves us no matter what our lives look like, and he never stops extending His unending grace. He knew that we couldn’t do it on our own, so He sent us His only son. Jesus knew that we would fail. He knew that I would make mistakes. He knew my family would face trials and hardships that left me feeling broken and alone. He knew that I would try to hide and get through those things on my own. He saw all of that, yet He still chose the cross. He still chose me, and He still chose you.
Because of the woman’s testimony, many samaritans believed in Him. She fearlessly went and proclaimed his goodness even though she would have to reveal her shame as well. I want to be like that woman. I want to come out of hiding so that others can see Him in me. I want to boldly share my story so that it can be a testimony of God’s goodness and faithfulness. I don’t want to hide and waste my trial. I want to lay it all at the feet of Jesus, throwing away my fear and shame. I want to risk my exposure, so that I can expose Him to others.
We can try as hard as we can to hide, but eventually our thirst and our needs will bring us out of hiding. It’s what we do after we come out of hiding that shapes what happens next. I love the way one of my favorite authors, Jennie Allen, talks about it. She says, “Then the water we drink determines whether we return to hiding or discover how to enjoy our lives again, to enjoy people and relationship again, to enjoy Him again.”
These past three and a half months I’ve been learning a lot about what it looks like to come out of hiding. I’ve learned that Jesus calls us out of hiding and says, “I want to help you with the hard times. I want to be your enough. You will be loved, you will be known, and you will free.” We have to risk exposure, like the woman at the well, and come out of our hiding spots. When we quit hiding and reveal our brokenness to others, healing can finally begin.
If you haven’t heard the song “Come out of Hiding” by Steffany Grretzinger you need to listen to it! I have listened to this song on repeat the past couple months and absolutely love the truth it holds. Listen to this song, be encouraged, and come out of your hiding spots!
Joyfully His,
Lizzy B
