For as long as I can remember I’ve struggled with confidence.
One of my biggest prayers going into The World Race was that I would grow in confidence over the year. More specifically I wanted to be more confident in sharing my life through blogs, more confident in praying and talking in front of people, and more confident in sharing the Gospel with others.
It’s been amazing to see how God has placed me in specific situations over the past 6 weeks that have helped me grow in my confidence. He has challenged me to step outside of my comfort zone and do things that I would have never thought I would do.
Six weeks ago I would have sunk in my seat if they asked for someone to speak or pray and think to myself, “please don’t pick me, please don’t pick me”. I would grow anxious at the thought of talking in front of so many people and become fearful that people would judge the words that would come out of my mouth. I never thought my words were good enough to say and I never thought I had the knowledge to stand before a crowd and preach or share the gospel.
But I was wrong. I was letting the fear of failure control my confidence instead of finding my confidence in the Lord. God showed me that my words were important. That what I had to say was good and could bring others to Him. I learned that if I put my trust in Him, he would give me the confidence to do anything.
So here we are six weeks later and I have more confidence than ever. I went from being terrified to speak in front of people, to volunteering to pray and preach to a crowded room. I no longer fear people reading my blogs and noticing all of my grammatical errors or thinking that what I have to say isn’t good enough (okay…maybe sometimes I still fear you noticing all of my comma splices). But God has taught me that those things are silly and don’t matter because my blogs can plant seeds and build His kingdom. They can reach people who are struggling with similar situations, and allow them to see God’s goodness.
Last month, I sang and played piano in front of the entire church (which if you know me at all, you know I hate singing in front of people). I tried to say no many times, but God had a different plan and I found myself on stage like a deer in a headlight. In all honesty, I felt like it was a disaster. The mic wasn’t working so one of the worship leaders stood next to me holding a mic right next to my lips, and the cord laid across my shaky fingers making it hard to play. My stomach was filled with butterflies and I was so nervous that I forgot some of the words. Although it could have gone better, I was proud of myself for saying “yes” to God and allowing Him to give me the confidence to stand before the church and sing.
If you are like me and let fear control your confidence, I encourage you to hand it over to God. Allow Him to work in you and provide you with the confidence to step out in faith. Let go of the fear of failure and hold on to the truth that God is faithful. I still have a lot to go when it comes to walking with confidence, but I am sure that the Lord will continue to challenge me and help me grow in this area over the next 9 months. Please continue to pray for me and for God to provide me with ample opportunities to grow in confidence in order to bring glory to Him!
Joyfully His,
Elizabeth
