The song “So Will I (100 Billion X)” by Hillsong has been running through my head and playing in my car constantly for the past three weeks and I can’t seem to get two lines out of my head.
1) “If the wind goes where You send it so will I”
2) “If You gave Your life to love them so will I”
For the past month I have been stressed over fundraising, finding all of my gear and just leaving for this trip in a matter of months. However, once I saw that I reached my goal and was in utter disbelief for days, I saw that God wanted me here. He has worked in the hearts of everyone who has supported me and has called me to do this. I am honored and humbled daily that He would choose me for something as amazing as this. I have been listening to this song and realizing that I need to be like the wind and just listen to what God has in store for me and go where He sends me. I do not need to fear or be stressed because He is in control of my life and will show me what to do. If I am being completely honest, these past few weeks I have been trying to take control of my life instead of God. There has been so much going on with work, babysitting, youth group, volunteering and trying to have a social life that I have been trying to control every situation that gets thrown my way. I know that God has a plan for me, has my life in His hands, but giving up control and having blind trust in Him can be difficult. On a small scale, I have finally gotten it down. But for larger things in my life, I am still holding on hoping that I can control what is going to happen. A word that keeps coming to mind is surrender. I used to have this bracelet that said “Surrender” on it as a reminder and these past few days that word has been ringing through my head. As lovely of a concept of that is, it is not easy to do for me personally. But I am human, I make mistakes and that is why I strive to be in relationship with God because I am not perfect. This song has been a constant reminder to me to realize that it is not my job to worry, it is my job to praise Him, follow His plan for me and to love those that He created. I am reminded of Matthew 6:25-34, which tells me “not to worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”. As I continue on this journey, I thank everyone who has helped me thus far and praise God for what he has done and what he is going to do. As this week reaches the halfway point, I challenge myself to constantly surrender over everything in my life no matter how big or small it may be.
Thank you!
Matthew 6:25-34 (full)
Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendorwas dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
“So Will I (100 Billion X)” by Hillsong United (full lyrics)
There at the start
Before the beginning of time
With no point of reference
You spoke to the dark
And fleshed out the wonder of light
A hundred billion galaxies are born
In the vapor of Your breath the planets form
If the stars were made to worship so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You’ve made
Every burning star
A signal fire of grace
If creation sings Your praises so will I
You don’t speak in vain
No syllable empty or void
For once You have spoken
All nature and science
Follow the sound of Your voice
A hundred billion creatures catch Your breath
Evolving in pursuit of what You said
If it all reveals Your nature so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You say
Every painted sky
A canvas of Your grace
If creation still obeys You so will I
So will I
So will I
If the mountains bow in reverence so will I
If the oceans roar Your greatness so will I
For if everything exists to lift You high so will I
If the wind goes where You send it so will I
If the rocks cry out in silence so will I
If the sum of all our praises still falls shy
Then we’ll sing again a hundred billion times
You chased down my heart
Through all of my failure and pride
On a hill You created
The light of the world
Abandoned in darkness to die
A hundred billion failures disappear
Where You lost Your life so I could find it here
If You left the grave behind You so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You’ve done
Every part designed in a work of art called love
If You gladly chose surrender so will I
I can see Your heart
Eight billion different ways
Every precious one
A child You died to save
If You gave Your life to love them so will I
But what measure could amount to Your desire
You’re the One who never leaves the one behind
