Coming on the race I had a lot of fears. One by one God handled them but there was a particular fear I held on to a little extra tight. What I feared most was change. I didn’t want to change. I thought that if God changed me too much then going home wouldn’t really be going home. I’d lose everyone that mattered to me because I’d be too different and therefore unloved.
I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense but to me it did. Somehow God has a way of taking my biggest fears and using them against me but I guess in a way, for me. God has changed me radically since coming on the race. It has been a freeing experience unlike any other.
God has released me from my worldly desires and given me divine ones. He’s replaced my heart with His and my eyes too. I guess you could say my views on change have changed (haha don’t worry I still think I’m funny). It wasn’t until I realized He had something better in store for me that I was able to abandon what I knew of myself and search for His definitions of who I am.
God has completely altered what I want for my life. It no longer consists of what I thought would give me a happy life. I no longer have my full life planned out before me. I’ve traded it for something better. The freedom of choosing His plan. This doesn’t mean I’m no longer a frequent Pinterest user, I doubt that will ever change, but it does mean I’m a little more open to the bigger and better things available to me.
You see, I’m a princess. I’m a daughter of the Almighty King and an ordinary life no longer interests me. I’m ready to go wherever He leads me, as long as Starbucks is within driving distance of course. I’m ready to live on His timeline, not the one given to me by the world. I’m ready to love deeply and live boldly because I’ve only got so long here to invite as many people as I can to the eternal dance party in heaven.
Letting go of my own plans wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be. It hasn’t been so much a trade in as a level up. God’s not an in-the-box thinker so who am I to think I could come up with a better plan for my life than Him?
He’s already released me from the bondage of shame, pride, fear, insecurity and He’ll continue to set me free until I meet Him face to face. I want to live a life that screams loved and radiates joy. I want others to see how I’m living and want the secret behind my freedom. I want what He wants for me and I want everyone else to want it too.
Change can be hard, but this one hasn’t been. It’s been the biggest relief of my life and I can’t wait to get home and share it with you. I’m still me but a better version. If you’re resisting God’s change in you I can promise it’s worth the upgrade. God is worth pursuing with everything you’ve got and everything you don’t.
I’m so thankful that God pursues me beyond what I’m capable of. When I come home I may be a little different. But I’ll just be a little happier a little freer and a little wilder. It’s a beautiful thing to live like you’re loved. So in case you didn’t know, you’re loved an infinite amount by the creator of the universe and you should start living like it.
