My
mind has been all over the place lately. I feel like I have to be
constantly processing and analyzing the issues, thoughts, and
revelations that bounce around like a pin ball in my brain. I have
substituted rest with trying to make out the jumble and the scribbles
that are written on the torn pages of my mind.
Calm
my anxious heart.
I
come home after work anticipating relaxation, but find myself
burdened by all the things I should
be thinking about and dealing with. After all, the Lord has been
teaching me a ton lately, isn’t it my responsibility to process that
in effort to make it a reality in my life. I have withdrawn myself
from the mere simplicity of hanging out with friends in order to turn
the jumble and scribbles into concrete statements and ideas.
Calm
my anxious heart.
I
would have never described myself as anxious until a friend so
lovingly pointed it out to me prior to starting a Bible study on the
subject.
Unable
to turn my mind off…
Anxious.
My
thoughts constantly bouncing from one thing to another…
Anxious.
Worried
that I’m going to miss or forget what God is teaching me…
Anxious.
THINGS
CHANGED TODAY!
I
drove out to the park to just BE.
I wanted to be alone with
the Lord. I needed some fresh air and limited distraction.
So,
I walked down to a bench swing and sat down.
“God,
I’m not asking anything of you, I just want to be with You. I’m not
asking for answers, revelations, or signs. I’m not going to petition
You for anything, I just want to sit with You.�
Immediately,
it seemed as though God was sitting on my right with his arm around
me. A picture was painted in my mind of the two of us sitting on that
bench swing without a care in the world, both of us looking off with
a peaceful smile upon our faces.
My
mind kept trying to race off in many different directions, but I kept
bringing it back to the joy, the simplicity of sitting with my
Beloved.
I
asked God to tell me something about Himself.
I
felt the words
“I love you� burn
in my heart. You would think that these words wouldn’t fit the mold
of the question I purposed, but it was exactly what I needed to hear.
I felt these words so deep that tears welled up in my eyes. I know
that He loves me. I know that no matter what He is proud of me and
pleased with me but, today I felt it so much deeper and more intimate
than ever before.
These
words hit me in such a way that nothing else seemed to matter. The
anxiety was gone and peace flooded in.
God
has been drawing me to deeper and deeper intimacy. Today was another
step in that direction. The time spent on that bench swing was the
simple reminder I needed:
He’s
got it.
He’s
got it all under control.
He
will not allow me to miss out or forget what He is teaching me.
He
will give me rest.
He
will unscramble the mess in my mind.
HE
WILL CALM MY ANXIOUS HEART.
