Living with open hands is terrifying. There is a bridge section in the song Blessed Be Your Name that gets left out more often than not, but it is truth and it is a reality that is not always the first thing that we want to hear.
He gives and takes away,
my heart is true to say,
Lord blessed be your name.
I think I used to idealize this statement. You feel super spiritual when you throw out the phrase, “yeah, I live with hands open to the Lord” and you may even truly mean it occasionally. It’s pretty awesome when the Lord gives, buuuut not so awesome when the Lord takes away. Does my heart truly bless his name?
My guitar broke. Very first plane ride too. I usually take it as a carry on, but due to tighter airline restrictions, I had to check it on and it came rolling out on the baggage carousel to me… cracked. The ironic thing is, I remember getting so nervous to check it and my soothing comment to myself was “I am working on living with both hands wide open.” Note to self- that is the worst way to console someone, ever. I think I use that phrase sometimes to be sneaky, and maybe trick the Lord into thinking how crazy reckless I am living for Him so he wouldn’t dare take away something I love this much. False.
How does this story end? Well a couple of wonderful team mates helped me smooth out the cracks, taped it up with some medical tape, and slapped a Jesus band aide on it for good measure. It may still be cracked, but it plays and it will worship. What else is broken? Well, a lot of pride and my keep-it-all-together attitude. After all, we are just broken people that the Lord still uses to play His love songs.
We have officially arrived in India! Our very first travel day was nothing short (literally) of adventure consisting of 3 plane rides, one very long layover, and a bumpy 8-hour bus ride. They weren’t kidding when they said the world race would push you. I am already really sweaty, tired, and irritable. I couldn’t tell you what date it is, and we have yet to arrive to our ministry contacts. Tomorrow we split off into separate teams into different parts of the Andhre Pradish region. Our team is specifically traveling further west into the region into a remote village (all we were told was it was past the forest 🙂 ) and we will be staying at a recent church plant in the area. From there, our schedule is pretty much up to us. We are helping continuing the church plant operation. From the village we are staying in, we will be traveling each day to smaller villages to share the gospel, and put on nightly meetings with worship and speaking! This is crazy. We are literally living out Jesus’s ministry going from village to village. These are the people who have yet to hear and even the fact that the Lord is sending us is so humbling.
Right now we are staying at a church in a bigger city in the Andhre Pradish region. About 40 women are sprawled out sleeping beside me with eye masks on doing their best to sleep in the midst of the humidity. A simple trip to the bank today consisted of cramming into mini "autos" and swerving between busses, cars, and cows that make up the majority of the traffic. We stick out like sore thumbs. During one layover we drew quite the crowd taking photos of us as we played card games and guitar while waiting to check in. I am sure 55 American’s is not a usual sight, particularly when the bathroom line is jam packed full of women who are discussing the best way to use a squatty potty.
What am I learning? I need the Lord sooo badly. It brings me to tears daily when I realize the weight of the fact that I just can’t do this myself. I am so far outside my comfort zone and am leading a team of men and women who are so in love with the Lord it leaves me breathless with gratitude. He is so good! He is so true and faithful in the midst of the chaos. He is so gentle the way He empties me of myself and fills me with His goodness.
Praise God for what He is doing here and how He is using us! I am not sure how often I will be able to write this next month. Depending on the remoteness of this village, we may not have wifi till our next travel day. I love you and thank you for your prayers!
