The laptop I am writing this blog on is a miracle.
At the beginning of this year, one of the things I was believing the Lord for was a new laptop. My older laptop, old faithful, operates on Windows Vista if you still remember that. It was absolutely too heavy and too slow to take with me on the Race so I decided that I wouldn’t bring it. Not having a laptop would make my team leader responsibilities incredibly difficult, but I simply didn’t have the money to buy a new one.
One week before Launch my dad told me one of our family friends heard I needed a laptop and generously offered me enough money to buy a new one. I bought an Asus Chromebook and it arrived exactly one day before I was supposed to Launch for the Race. I was so excited and even though I didn’t want to spend more money I knew I should invest in a good laptop cover to keep it safe. It was now my prized possession, God’s miraculous gift and I was going to protect it against all the evils of sticky sodas, greasy fingers and devastating drops.
Then we got to Launch. Since then, several teammates asked to use my computer and I must confess, everything inside me was screaming, “No, no, no, noooo! It’s mine, all mine, I just got it and God miraculously provided it for me, I don’t want to share it!” Every time I borrowed it to anyone I still struggled to let it out of my sight and care. Then one night, I was tossing and turning trying to fall asleep, worrying about my precious laptop and the aforementioned evils. But I felt the Lord say, “Lizete, have you considered that I blessed you with this laptop for the exact purpose of blessing your team as well?”
Yup. I was so convicted and in that moment, I knew the Lord was going to help me say so long to selfishness.
I grew up with two older brothers and rarely had to share my clothes, toys, books or anything. Almost every Sunday when I was a little girl, my dad would spoil me and buy me a toy when he went to pick up the newspaper. Heaven forbid I did not get the toy I wanted right when I wanted it or else there would be tears and a tantrum.
So I don’t think I ever really learned how to share, at least not how to share well and definitely not with my most valuable possessions. I became very good at hiding my selfishness, covering it up with smiles and politeness, “Of course you can borrow it! Absolutely! No problem at all!” But deep down selfishness had rooted itself into my heart and had driven away cheerful generosity.
On the Race, other than perhaps your toothbrush and underwear, nothing is really your own. In life’s blessings that is also most certainly true, it all belongs to the Lord anyway. On top of that, when you’re living in true community, everything is shared. Everything starts belonging to everyone because we realize that the true Giver has already given everything for us.
Jesus gave everything He had away, even His life. In the moments we least deserve it, He still gives us His love, patience and mercy abundantly and cheerfully. The Lord is helping me truly understand what it means to have a generous spirit. To give generously and with a cheerful heart. But much more than my fleeting material possessions, Abba is teaching me to be generous with much more valuable things like my time, resources and talents and to build His kingdom and community, which will last forever.
