Dear Nepal,
Saying goodbye to you has been a challenge. Part of me wants to experience more of you, but the other part of me is so ready to leave. I want to stay in Nepal because of the incredibly beautiful and peaceful mountains. I want to stay because we met friendly men and woman after God’s own heart that I would love to get to know better. I want to stay because I love the slum children. I want to stay because of the sunsets. But I also want to leave.
Nepal you’ve been such a hard season in my life. You pushed me outside my comfort zone, you shattered my heart, and because of this you grew me. The spiritual atmosphere is very dark, ever present, and heavy. I saw poverty that shook me to the core. Entire families living in scrap metal shacks. I was so moved that the entire time we were there I couldn’t do anything other than let the tears fall down my face. I saw teenagers in dresses too short, makeup caked on their face, dancing and selling themselves because they had no other way of getting an income. We went to a restaurant where the prices of the food included the time you were buying to be intimate with a woman. By simply buying expensive, bad tasting food, you were buying her body. I saw street children covered in dirt from head to toe, clothes well worn, without shoes on, begging us for money, knocking on our taxi windows. Sometimes they would have a sheet of paper explaining why they were begging, signed by the government that they would tap and tap and tap on your arm until you gave in. In the city of Thumel shopkeepers would beg you to come back if you walked out of their shop without buying anything because they needed the money. And it was hard. It’s hard to feel things so deeply, for things to reach your very soul, but if we felt nothing we would be robots. And I never want to feel nothing, as much as it hurts it would hurt more to be without these feelings of compassion. My time here has changed my perspective. It’s been a season of growing and one where the Lord is challenging me.
However there have been so many special parts and moments in Nepal that filled my heart with joy. One of these places I love is the basement and prayer room of our apartment during our time of womenstry where we lived in all female community. That prayer room was my dojo, my home, my special place with the Lord. In that room, he met with me. We talked like friends while I painted, I cried, and I worshipped. In that holy space, I was free to express how I felt to the Lord in all ways, and it truly was a beautiful thing.
Another part of Nepal that I love are the villages. Our first Month we went to a village and there we saw and performed miracle healings, encouraged believers, and we had tender moments as a team. At that village one night we washed each other’s feet and said what we saw and loved about that person. The second month we went to a different village and it was as if we were in a completely new country. The weather was sunny, and tropical, with palm trees swaying in the wind. We didn’t have much ministry but we enjoyed having rest and also connected with a few local families. One of them owned a bakery/ cafe that sold cake AND momos. What more could a girl ask for?
Another huge part of this month for me has been trekking in Lang Tang National Park which is a chain in the Himalayas. The sound of the roaring river and the wind was so peaceful and calming. It’s so easy to hear His voice when there is nothing else to destract you from it. I’ll be honest though it was the most physically demanding thing I’ve ever done. All in all we hiked up and down hills and then climbed my first 14er. In and through that, at times I had a seriously bad attitude, but overall I did actually enjoy it. At first I simply couldn’t see why we were here, walking, exhausting ourselves, and started praying for joy and to see that value in what we were doing. And like God always does, he showed up and provided me with aboundant joy and understanding.
And so Nepal, thank you. Thank you for challenging me, breaking me, and making me more aware of the world. I love you and I hate you and you will always hold a special place in my heart.
Xoxoxo,
Liz
