Today is Sunday November 13th, our first day at church here in Rwanda. Last night my team asked our pastor, who’s name is John, “What time does church start?”and he answered, “Eight and a half to twelve and a half.” But when we asked again to double check he answered differently and so we woke up Sunday morning not knowing what time it started. My team and I love to sleep and so we slept until the latest possible moment, and then stumbled out of bed to eat our breakfast of tea, peanut butter and bread. After finishing breakfast we quickly got ready for church not knowing when we had to leave. Because of this, there was no time for a bucket shower.
And so I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I tried to look as presentable as possible but when I was finished, I looked at myself in the mirror and felt uncomfortable. With greasy hair in a braid, no makeup on, a very red face from just waking up, and then wearing my turquoise fit kicks because my Birkenstocks got stolen in Nicaragua, I felt uncomfortable. The vanity inside of me screamed that I should look better for church.
But it was time to leave and so we did. Having never walked there by ourselves we were uncertain if we could even get there but it was 8:45 and our pastor was nowhere in sight. My team and I managed to find our way to the church. When we arrived, there were only a few individuals there. Thankful that we were early, we were ushered to sit down together in the front two rows. As we waited the church slowly began to come alive before our eyes. Our friend David began to pray loudly into a microphone pacing the entire room and eventually sitting in a corner yelling his prayers up to God in his own language. A group of woman started to sing together. Two small children ran up and down the isles. Soon enough more people arrived and somewhere between the singing and praying, the church transitioned into its service. They played one song after another, blaring the music from the speakers and also playing the keyboard. The men, woman, and children in the room were moved by the music, they raised their hands in worship, even dancing. The woman and a few my gathered into a circle and began to dance and jump and shout.
And again I felt uncomfortable.
I didn’t know what to do with my hands and with myself as they worshipped. My team and I stood awkwardly, not moving at all as they sang. Not knowing what else to do, I closed my eyes, held out my arms, and started to pray.
“Dear Papa, please let me embrace the uncomfortability. I am called to embrace the culture around me and instead I feel like an outsider, an observer. Too uncomfortable in my own skin to simply sway to the music and clap. I desire so badly to let go and dance with the other woman. So please papa remove the barrier. Remove whatever is stopping me from being free. Free to dance and worship you in the way these Africans are.”
A thought popped into my head. “At the next team time I should tell my team to dance at church because I really want to, I just don’t know how to and feel uncomfortable.” Immediately after thinking this, a woman grabbed my hand and tugged me towards the group of woman dancing. And so I danced. Suddenly unafraid to look like a fool, no longer uncomfortable, and did my best to look slightly coordinated, I danced. It freed me and filled me with so much joy and happiness; and so I danced before the Lord just like David did, as one by one my teammates were brought into the circle, like an initiation of some kind. And so my team and I danced. God calls us to step out of our comfort zone. Contrary to what I thought before church, I know that God doesn’t care what I wear to church, or what I look like. He only cares that I’m spending time in His presence.
“For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
2 Corinthians 3:17
Just a few updates:
My team and I will be in Rwanda teaching, preaching and evangelizing for the next two months. That being said, my deadline to be fully funded is December 31, Christmas. Since I won’t be home for Christmas and Thanksgiving, I’m asking that you think about donating to allow me to continue my World Race journey as part of blessing others during these holiday seasons. Hug your family a little tighter and be thankful that your children get to be with you. I know it will be very hard to not have me be there for either holiday, not only on me but also on my family. As of right now I need $5,000. If you feel called and would like to bless someone during Thanksgiving and Christmas please donate 🙂 the link is right on my blog page
