I’ll say it again….I HATE asking for
money. When I hear people say, “I get so much joy from raising
support for God’s Kingdom!,â€� I wonder sometimes if I’m fully
Christian. Because I, unlike the majority, cannot stand
support raising. Sure, I choose the joy of Christ when raising
support because I do agree, when it’s for the Kingdom it’s definitely
worth sowing into. But I’m also human when it comes to money and
ministry.
I hate asking.
I complain.
I whine.
I give up every now and then.
Trust me, this money thing is not fun
and games…at least to me anyway.
Ask anyone who knew me in college while
I was in leadership with Cru. I had
reservations and my own opinions on people just handing over money to
the missionaries. Truthfully, I didn’t like it. “Work hard and
pay for your own trips.� Was always the mentality I grew up
with and stuck by.
And I still stick by that mentality
very strongly. I believe you should do everything you can on your own
to make sure you are funded for mission trips. However, I’ve also
learned something when it comes to sowing and reaping. I’ve learned
some big things about money and about stepping out in faith. I think
of what the Word says when it reads:
“You do not receive because you
do not ask.â€� – James 4:2
Well I just don’t like to ask. Pride?
Maybe. But…
what if they label me as a beggar?
what
if everyone starts gossiping and viewing me differently?
what if I make people uncomfortable?
what if they think I’m selfish?
What if this what if that? What if,
what if, WHAT IF?!
And you know what….so what if all
that does
happen? So what? Yea, sure I still don’t like to ask for money, but
who really does? Even though I know this trip is worth asking the
entire world, I still don’t like having to ask for other’s help. But
one thing I do know is that
if I’m not willing to
take a chance on Christ and maybe even risk my reputation or image in
the process, if I’m not willing to step out in faith and do what’s
not easiest, then my life is bland.
If I
don’t ask then I must be ashamed of Christ…and I’m clearly not.
What’s selfish is knowing what happens when money is sown into the
kingdom and the blessings that stem from that for the sower and being
silent. What’s selfish is not giving people the opportunity to be
blessed for being a blessing.
And
during this trip, I’ve seen pain. I’ve seen the tears, the children
who belong to no one, the widows and the oppressed. I’ve layed my
praying hands on the crooked spines, the woman with no arms, the
babies who are considered vegetables for life, the paralyzed man in
the wheelchair…
and I am convinced God
is not done with me here just yet!
What’s still ahead:
Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia, Tanzania, Uganda, Rwanda,
Nepal….India. I want to make it to India. I’ve been told I’ll find
something there when I go back. I’ve been told how I’ll be a voice
that no woman has ever dreamt of hearing in her lifetime, a voice who
will finally bring freedom to the captives and the prisoners. I guess
I’ve been told that I’m needed.
So maybe I need to be
here. And I’ll make it short and simple. I’ll ask for your help once
again and take that risk and that step of faith. So far I need $3936
just to break my deadline of $11,000 by April 1st. I still
need about $8500 to be fully funded by July but right now I’m only
focused on this next week. I have a week to raise this $3936 or else
I will be sent back to the states.
If God’s will is
for me to be back in the states, then I fully rest in that and am
content.
If God’s will is
for me to continue with this race and make it to India, then I fully
rest in that and am content.
Would you please
pray with me this next week before April 1st, and ask God
if He’s leading you to give toward my mission trip? If you’ve given
already and would like to make another donation or start monthly
giving, I encourage you to do so soon! For more information on ways
to give, check out my blog at the bottom labeled “So You Wanna
Give, Eh?� or just click on the “Support Me!� Tab to the left.
Any donations that are sent in by check, please notify me as soon as
you can with how much and when it was sent in. Otherwise please feel
free to give online with debit or credit or by doing a bank draft.
Once again, all donations are tax-deductible!
Whew! Well with all
that said, thank you once again. The generosity I’ve been able to
witness in the just these last few months has been unbelievable. I
didn’t think it was possible to even raise $7,000 but God used every
single one of you to birth a miracle. I am honored to serve the
Lord’s Kingdom overseas and with the help of everyone back home who
is sowing into this trip, interceding on my behalf and being a light
and encouragement every day. Thank you for not giving up on me even
when I’ve felt I could give up on myself. I love you all. God bless
you 🙂
