I haven’t really been thinking too much about writing a blog post because honestly I have felt a little defeated lately. I haven’t been in the word as much as I normally am and I haven’t been around my strong friends that keep me accountable like I usually am. Luckily, I have been keeping up with my WR teammates which feels similar to the community I call family in Nashville. They are the only reason I am getting over this lug I have been feeling.
It sounds ridiculous, but when I am home I seem to fall away. I read less, I have less deep conversations, and I am surrounded by less strong friends. Realistically I don’t really keep up with very many friends in MS. I don’t do much. I am lazy when I am home because it is my time to refresh my body and mind… but this trip turned into an extended stay and I am sick of being lazy.
Recently, I have mainly felt defeated while trying to raise money. It seems like the some of the people I would expect to give aren’t helping out and the one’s I am least expecting to recieve anything from are giving more than I could have asked. Then Jesus, reminds me to stop pointing fingers and flips the blame around… These are questions He asks me. When did I call you to give to someone in need and you ignore it? When was the last time you spent hours listening to someone else talk… and just listen? Ouch…
As I read the first 2 paragraphs of what I have written I think what is my problem. Snap out of it! Get over it. Be strong… Well I’m not strong. On my own I am going to sink every time. But luckily for me and for you, we have a savior that wakes us up if we let Him. He is the lover of our soul. He tells us to snap out of it. He humbly tells us these insecurities are only hindering our relationship. He wipes away our tears when it feels like no one we are talking to will listen. He whispers in our ears “I am listening.”
Ahh, I get it now…. It’s all about me. Wow… I am realizing what a self-centered person I really am. Thank you, Jesus for reminding me of this. Thank you for reminding me to surrender. Thank you for fighting this battle for me. I am so grateful. It’s not about me, if it was I would sink. It is about Him… and we already know the ending. Love wins. I don’t know why it is so hard to surrender sometimes… but I am making a point to surrender right here, right now. I will not hold onto these burdens anymore.
Instead of feeling some of these bitter feeling I have, I am going to be thankful. Thankful towards all of the people that were able to financially give. Thankful for all of the people praying for me. Thankful that God has blessed me enough to even be able to think about a trip like this. Thankful that He has given me an abundance of gifts on earth. Thankful that He has chosen me to be His servant all around the world. Thankful that photos like the one below to remind me how amazing His artwork is. (This is Sedona)
So today, I pray, that anyone feeling down about anything hands it over to Jesus. It is an amazing feeling to be at peace when the world tells you there is nothing to be at peace about. If you have any specific prayer request click here and you can send me a private message. I would love to pray for you.
Thank you all for taking the time to read my sad, sappy blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has supported me. If you haven’t supported me and would like to I would be honored to have you partner with me. If you feel led, you can financially give by clicking here. Also, I would love to have you all following along for the journey. If you want an email when my blog gets updated click here and type in your email address. That is probably going to be the easiest way to keep up with everyone when I am abroad.
Love you all because I was first loved by Him 🙂
Liz
And I will leave you all with a song that has beautiful lyrics. It reminds me to rest in Him.
