I have been procrastinating writing this blog because… well I just have. Anyways, it is about how God showed me last month in Thailand that if I am truly living for Him, nothing in America is stable. What I mean by that is that He may ask me to do something crazy that could cost me my job, etc.
Okay, so I was walking down the street listening to music and praying as I walked to a coffee shop as God gave me another vision. It was a hard vision to swallow. It was painful, but true.
As I was praying, the doctor walked in. He called me outside to talk. He questioned me. He asked me why I was undermining him. He asked me if I thought he didn't know how to do his job. He said "I'm a doctor don't you think I know what is best for this patient."
I told the doc yes, I believe he knew more than I did about the patient. I then told him that God asked me to pray for the patient so that's why I prayed. I told him that God has the power to heal. I told the doc about how awesome God is and how He could heal this guy. He asked me to go pray for the guy and I was going to be obedient to Him.
The doc asked if I knew the policy and asked didn't I know that praying for a patient was against the policy. The doc told me to pack up and leave. I started crying and trying to talk to the doc about how much God loved him and was using him in the hospital, etc.
Remember this is a vision so I was still walking down the street, but the emotions were building up inside of me. I started actually crying because I realize how bad I wanted the doc to believe that God loves him.
Anyways, at the end of my vision, the doc never believed, the patient wasn't miraculously healed, and well I had no job.
It was in the moment after the vision that I realized following Jesus truly could cost me everything. I thought being a nurse was guaranteed stability, but I realized being a Christian will never bring us stability on this earth. It does make us have to depend on our faith to trust God to take care of us.
He showed me that everything in this world can be shaken. As everything around us shakes the only thing that remains is the unshakeable. Jesus Christ. If He isn't the rock we are standing on, we will be shaken with everything around us. (Hebrews 12:25-28)
If Jesus is our rock, we live to glorify God. I've learned though, we aren't always going to get the response we want from people. In a perfect world in the vision above the patient would have been healed, the doc save and I would have kept my job and been bouncing on all the nurses shoulders with a trophy over my head for saving the day.
God showed me a vision of reality. I probably will have tear stained face as I encounter situations where people deny Him.
So often we try to monitor people's responses or we are scared we won't get the response we want (i.e. them coming to know Christ, a miracle, etc) so we don't do what God ask. Our job isn't to monitor their response, our job is to glorify God by showing up and being obedient to what He asks of us. He does the rest.
