So yesterday I wrote a blog and I planned on posting tonight, but honestly, I am not sure if it came from my heart. It seemed like something I wrote because it was what I thought others wanted to hear. Today, on my six hour car ride through some of the ugliest terrain in America—aka Mississippi, God reminded me this isn’t about pleasing others; it’s about praising Him.
Normally I would say it is one of the slowest six hours to ever pass, but today it seemed to fly by. It could be because all I could think about was Him. He occupied my heart the whole time. I prayed. I sang. I danced. For 6 hours straight. I can’t ever recall ever feeling this alive. I had the music on repeat, one hand lifted high out of the sunroof, and my voice praising so loud I hardly noticed it was out of tune.
Today was a special day. I can’t pinpoint just one moment that made it so awesome; it was every moment. It was the moment I was, again, hit with the reality that, despite my past or my future, I am forgiven for all of my sins because I am loved so much—you are loved so much—that Jesus was willing to pay a debt He did not owe so we could spend eternity with Him. It was the moment singing “Give me Faith” byElevation Worship when I realized I had the Holy Spirit living in me, singing in me, praying in me; I really felt Him guiding me. It was the moment listening to Thad Cockrell’s “Master’s Calling” when I realized how thankful I am to still have the opportunity to praise and love Him and reminding myself not to take that for granted. It was the moment dancing to “Follow You” by Leeland when I realized, for the first time, I really am trying desperately to follow Him and it feels unimaginably awesome. It was that moment during Blake Mundell’s song “Brave” when I realized that I am finally starting to know exactly who I am, not because of anything I have done but because I know God loves me. Wow, like I said, today was a special day.
I am not writing this to brag about my day, I am more writing this as a relic for myself. I know in a few months I will be experiencing some really intense emotions. I will be hit with the reality Satan’s presence, and I am sure I will be feeling attacked. I will be thousands of miles from my family and friends (although hopefully my new friends will be family by then). I will need a reminder that my flesh is weak, but His spirit, the Holy Spirit, is strong in me. I will need something to look back on and remind me why I wanted to embark on this journey with God. I am going to need a reminder that I am not doing the World Race for myself; I am doing it for Him. I am doing it because I want to follow Him into the world. I want to meet the needs of poor and the needy. I want share Jesus’ love with whoever wants to listen.
As I write this, I hear the Spirit humbly reminding me that I am only able to share His love because He loved me first. Today, I can honestly say I have never felt so loved.
I will leave you with a YouTube Video of “Give Me Faith” by Elevation Worship. I pray this song moves you the way it moves me. Love you all.
