I’ve been doing this Christian thing for a long time. I was practically born into church and I’ve been walking with Jesus for a long time now. (Notice how fluent I am in Christianese.) Being so completely immersed in church culture means that it takes me a while to notice a things because they seem so common to me, one of these things is happiness. Let me try to explain.

Have you noticed that Christians expect other Christians to be happy pretty much all the time? It’s ok to be sad because of a break-up or a “trail” in life but really everyone’s advice will be to pray A, B, and C and read this book by Pastor I-have-three-thousand-members. Oh and don’t forget to keep reading the bible. But the underlying message that I take away from this advice is “do these things and then Jesus will make you happy again.” I have nothing against being happy in fact, I really enjoy being happy but I don’t think my happiness is the point. I think God’s glory is the point. I’ve read part of Pleasures of God by Piper so I know His glory is kind of a big deal.

Perhaps during the times we find ourselves in “the valley” it’s ok to just acknowledge that we can’t find it in us to pray. It’s one thing to intentionally turn your back on God and go find your pleasure in the world but sometimes relationships are just rocky. I am not doubting who God said he was or His promises and I trust that His plan will carry on as usually regardless if I am praying for it, so maybe it’s ok to just be.






















We relate our walk with Jesus to a running a marathon a lot. It’s a slow and steady pace not a sprint. Fight the good fight, finish the race! I don’t know about you but I can’t run a marathon. I can barely run two miles and sometimes I can’t even run one! I think it’s ok that we have those seasons when we can’t even put our running shoes on. Jesus is still right there beside us waiting patiently and praying on our behalf. If we, the church, are going to talk a lot about being real and authentic then I’ll start now. Right now I can’t find it in myself to have a real conversation with Jesus. I’ve tried journaling, praying scripture, and praying out loud. Each time I’ve attempted I have sounded so fake that I wanted to throw up.
Rather then forcing myself to be a “good little Christian” maybe I can just rest in the fact that this is a season. This will not last forever. Jesus will continue to be faithful and He will never forsake me. I believe in His promises and I am being honest with Him, myself, and my community about where I’m at. I think that’s a good place to wait out this valley. I guess I just believe in a God that’s big enough to handle my dead seasons. He IS in the business of resurrections
If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful. For he cannot deny who he is. 2 Tim 2:13
