Sprinkle Joy

I know I already wrote about training camp but it was just so jam packed that one post seems inadequate so here ya go. 

Looking back I can clearly see that training camp was completely outrageous. Things like dancing or healings seemed pretty normal but when I came home and began to tell people about the things I saw I realized how impossible and crazy it sounded. We were overflowing with information and testimonies which lead to a greater understanding of who God is which was reflected in our worship. People were free to experience Jesus in their own unique way.  It is only in this personal and intimate time with Abba that change is possible.

I know that God is omnipresent. I know that I can't base my belief about his presence on how I feel BUT if the bible makes a point of telling us where two or more gather He is with them (Matt 18:20) then there's got to be something more than He is omnipresent. Maybe you've experienced this difference or maybe you haven't. (Note: This post is NOT trying to question your spirituality or salvation so please don't take it that way.) 

While God is always around there are times when I am more aware of His presence. It’s almost like it’s heavier in the air or something. Well I wanted to enter into it. I wanted to be able to talk about God in a more intimate way; from a place of personal testimony rather than head knowledge. I know he knows me completely but I want to know HIM more. By the end of the week I had pretty much given up on ever experiencing God in an intimate way. He would continue to be my God, my King, but never my friend and father and I could live with that right?

During a particular night of worship people were gettin' it. People were singing from deep in their soul while others were dancing on the chains that God broke from their lives, and others were just basking in the glory. It was so incredible to worship in such freedom that I could observe how everyone expressed their praise so differently.I love to sing and dance and God was a legit guy so I was having a good time but I was desperate to experience more.

It was in this desperate desire to experience and know that I learned something monumental about who I am in Christ.

It was as I was sitting a girl from my squad came over spoke words of life right into my spirit. I didn't realize at the time how much truth these words contained. She told me lots of things but the thing I remember most was that my words and my laughter brought her joy.

Simple. Direct. And completely life changing.

In that moment the veil was lifted from my eyes and I realized in Christ I am joy. It changed how I saw everything about myself. My loud, unladylike laugh was spirit filled. My love of words is from the Lord and blessed. My desire to make others laugh and smile is Christ in me. I am joy. Astounding.

While I trust I will continue to learn and grow in this identity it has already given me so much more confidence in who I am. I am more comfortable being myself around any and everyone. I don't feel as much pressure to look like everyone else when it comes to spending time with Jesus. I think it call that freedom and it is so so good. So here I go in 12 days off to sprinkle of joy of the Lord to the nations. Yay!