Death is Beautiful

Death is beautiful. Many have said that “life is beautiful”, and there is even a movie with that name (which I highly recommend if you have not seen it), but what does it mean for death to be beautiful? 

Here I am not talking about physical death, although physical death can also be beautiful. I eagerly look forward to physical death because of Who (not what) awaits me after I take my last breath. I do not look forward to the pearly gates or the streets paved of gold. It matters little to me whether or not I get to bounce around the clouds after I die (although that would be fun!). I look forward to physical death because I know that I will see God face-to-face and come into the fullness of His presence. There is nothing more beautiful than that.

But here I am not talking about physical death. I am talking about a symbolic death of my “self”. At training camp we went on a long hike where we carried a log on which we had written in permanent marker things we still needed to surrender. On mine I had written comfort, dreams, relationships with college friends, and control. Control was by far the hardest thing to give up, but once I had given it up God convicted me that I needed to write my “self” on my log. He wanted all of me. 

And then the strangest thing happened. God told me that He wanted to kill me. Not in an angry or mean way, but in a way that was gentle and loving, as if it was the best thing for me. He wanted my “self” to die completely. At first this was hard to hear, as you can imagine. I struggled to let go and to make the decision to die. But God makes great promises to those who are willing to completely let go of themselves.

I have been testing these words, and I have found them to be true. Every day I seek to lose my life. Every day I strive towards death. And every day that I do those things I find true freedom, because as I become less Jesus becomes greater in my life (John 3:30). 

This next year is about fully experiencing that death. Experiencing death by not having the material comforts I desire, experiencing death by leaving friends and loved ones for a year, experiencing death by stepping out and saying “yes” to whatever God has no matter how dirty, smelly, or unworthy I deem it to be. God is always enough and I want to experience His fullness here and now. I don’t want to wait for heaven when I physically die. So I choose to step out in faith and let go of everything so that there is room for Him to come in. 

Brother Yun (one of my favorite authors – check out his books The Heavenly Man and Living Water if you haven’t read them already) says,

“The world cannot stop a child of God who follows God and walks in obedience to His commands. We need to throw off the fear of man and steadfastly decide to live only for Jesus. We have no right to be afraid of what people think or say about us. In fact, we have no right to even be interested in people’s opinions of us. We are meant to be dead to this world and everything that it represents. A dead person doesn’t care what he looks like or what others think of him.  All that matters is God!“

Please pray that I would continue to walk in obedience to this and that I would be steadfast in learning how to die to myself and live fully for Jesus!