At the end of each month I like to go
back through my journal and see what themes stand out. It is one of
the ways I process. Often it is only during this intentional time of
looking back over the past couple of weeks that I see the things that
God has been teaching me. In the moment, the day to day, it is often
difficult to see the forest for the trees. So there I was, at
the end of Thailand, struggling to grasp the reality of my Identity
in Christ. I wanted to learn more, and clung to the promise that he
who began a good work in me would carry it on toward completion (Phil
1:6) that he would teach me more. My focus centered on that; learning
and being taught. Little did I guess that teaching itself would be
the next theme I saw.
As we traveled from Thailand to
South Africa, I used some time to take quiz that was going around the
teams. (To be clear- this test is only a tool, and a fallible one at
that.) The purpose of this particular test was to highlight some of
the spiritual gifts of the test takers. To my surprise, this test
insisted that one of my top gifts is…..teaching.
Now, this is not the first time I
have taken this type of test…. and to my chagrin, the high school
era test said the same thing. my reaction then was basicly the
same as this time…
that cant be right.
I’m not smart enough,
or disciplined enough
nope, can’t be, no. I don’t believe-,
it cant be….
I fumed to myself just how impossible
it was that I could be wired as a person with any kind of gift
for teaching.
And the wheels on the bus went
round and round. Eating up the endless fields and brushy planes of
South Africa. I saw the sun set in a riot of light lined clouds, and
come up again with a blaze of orange and yellow light. The bus
stewardess sold us coffee and hot chocolate. We were later dropped
off at the bus stop which seemed more like a random corner.
After a travel day that lasted over fifty hours, bridged two
continents, crossed six countries and the Indian ocean, we
arrived in Port Elizabeth.
Our contacts showed us a little
house where we would stay the month. We were ecstatic, there were
beds, a bathroom, running water, and best of all….a kitchen (with
an oven!)! we were pretty tight in two small rooms (Kalah actually
had to sleep by the front door because there was no floor space
anywhere else) but this was not what we envisioned when we signed
up to be missionaries in Africa – to say the least.
(that’s our front gate)
Guess, my dear readers, what we did
all month.
That’s right.
Teaching.
Coincidence….I think not.
The thing about South Africa, even
though it is pretty westernized (whatever that means), its’
infrastructure leaves something to be desired. As much as people rag
on the public school system in the US- at least we have one, and it
generally at least teaches people to read… this can not be
said of South Africa. There are not enough schools for all the kids.
The school we worked at was run by
a mission organization for the children of a nearby township (a
shanty town). Unfortunately, even this school is unable to take all
of the kids who need schooling. All they can do is try the best they
can with the resources they have.
The school teaches kids from
primary school to fourth grade. After that they try to get the kids
into one of the far over crowded middle(?) schools.
Not all of them can get in.
These kids are not even released into
the world knowing how to read well enough to educate themselves
should they have the desire.
For some reason I found this more
tragic than the poverty they lived in.
My team and I helped teach classes
and tutor students who were behind.
Many students were behind.
I ended up in a pre-K classroom with
between 15-18 kids. I quickly learned not to sit on the floor- or
else I would end up with at least four kids clinging to my various
limbs like limpets! Instituting the one at a time rule was about as
futile as necessary. It was exhausting. Sometimes I really
didn’t want to go. But it was also wonderful. We sang songs in
Xhosa and English, played soccer, I embodied the human jungle gym,
broke up countless fights, and hugged end held and talked to kids all
day.
(if you want to know what Xhosa sounds like, this is a good video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZlp-croVYw )
One day I brought some carrots to
school for lunch, I had eaten all but the nubs at the tops when
several of the kids ambushed me wanting some, I showed them that the
bag was empty and all I had was the nubs, these they snatched and ate
with relish. Seriously….although they were fed breakfast porridge
and lunch, those kids were starved for fresh veggies.
Another day, Friday, my teacher
decided to turn the half day into a holiday and we played games like
may flower (duck-duck-goose) and red-light green-light (if I remember
right).
Stop and go. Stop. go. Red light.
Green light.
……. Or in South Africa,
red robot,
green robot.
here are some of the kids in my class,
the teacher helped them make this poster for me on my last day.
As the month progressed I noticed
that- many of my natural tendencies are toward teaching. I
also realized that that one of my delights is to pull people into
nature and show them the wonder that I see there.
In-spite of that however, I still
struggled to accept that teaching might be something given to me by
God. I shut that possibility down with the lie, the excuse really,
that I am not smart enough.
I was tying that idea around teaching
tight. Trying to keep it nice and locked up and impotent, – after
all the implications would involve responsibility. – If you teach
people- especially about anything that really matters- you have to
make sure your information is absolutely correct.
Then this thought came to me
I give you the gifts I choose
in correct proportions.
I will teach you what you need to
learn.
It’s me gifting you remember, not
your talent.
and that’s that. I don’t know
where or how the gift of teaching will be used, or if it will even be
central to whatever God leads me to next, but there it is. I
learned something about myself I didnt know before. Its crazy
that there was this whole piece of my personality that I couldn’t
even see before.
Its kind-of like we are these
complicated puzzles and we just assume that
we know what all the peaces look like and what they are
capable of.
Surprise!!
