Thailand was the first country with my
new team. Here we helped out in a coffee shop during the daytime. In
the evenings we were split into two groups; half of us would pray,
and the other half would go out under the intercession. Every other
day we would switch groups.
When we headed out the first night I
felt a little nervous. I didn’t know what to do. What to say… How
to act. I never even went out to drinks with friends in my own town,
how am I supposed to minister to prostitutes? But our instructions
were simple: pray as we walked down the bar street, and when we were
guided (or just felt like it), we were to go into one and purchase a
non alcoholic drink. After that we would try to talk to the girls (or
lady-boys) working there, maybe treat them to a coke, try to begin a
friendship, show them they had value as human beings.
Scary…..right…?
but…it wasn’t.
It turned out… It actually felt
about as stressful as going to a coffee-shop. Except in this case
the people we talked to were pretty much paid to be friendly. The
strategy that my teammate Jill and I used was to play games like
Jenga and four-in-a- row, and get the women to play with us. Talking
to people I do not know super well is not in my comfort zone, nor is
hanging out (or at least that is what I tell myself). However,
in-spite of my stunning conversational skills, we met people. We
talked to:
A woman with a scorpion tattoo,
a lady-boy who enjoyed sharing with me
that her face looked feminine without any surgery,
a woman who had been given a bible by
a friend, and was searching through it.
A young mother who showed me pictures
of her daughter and niece. Her grandfather and her mountain village.
She showed me pictures of a field of
poppies, blooming in the sun.
People work here for a variety of
reasons. Money for children, Money, Poverty, Glamour whose sparkle has
worn off, to catch a rich lover. Or because they do not know where
else to go. This is the only place they know.
They are the mothers of little
girls, of seventeen year old boys who try their best to be good
students. Of eight year old boys who are so cool as to have
girlfriends. They are daughters and lost sons. They are part of, and
the victims of, a cycle of lies. Lies that permeate their beings,
saying that this is all there is to life, that they are worth nothing
more, that fulfillment of manliness and the fullness of femininity is
in sex.
This tangle of lies ensnares
its victims in so many ways, that pulling them out on our own
strength is impossible. In-spite of that, as I walked the neon-lit
streets, my heart was not crushed by sorrow. It just felt kind-of
sad.
(you
knew this part was
coming) BUT what is impossible for humans is not impossible
for God. By his love and power are the chains of lies broken, hearts
made whole. The only things I can do as a human are pray and pour.
Pray that God would capture the hearts of the people, break
the lies that trap them, and show them the hope that they are
something more. Pour into
the people I
meet the truth that God cares about them and that this
gives them value beyond anything they can imagine.
Easier said than done. It takes
relation and persistence to show most people the truth behind words
of love, but my time here is limited. In all, I think that
ministries which focus on long term relations are a good a way to
impact Thailand.
Women mentoring women,
teaching and showing them true beauty.
Men teaching men,
learning true strength.
But what is my strength? Every
month so far it feels like I have been placed as far away from my
natural talents as possible. I have lived in the middle of chaotic
cities, where the only green things to be found are in pots or parks.
I have been asked to form relationships and talk to
people I have never met before. There has been no pruning or
planting, no call for my artistic skills or scrap baking
prowess. I began to realize that I could not fall back on any of my
strengths or skills for comfort, to realize that
I am Powerless.
Well… I kind-of
knew that…..in the eternal/spiritual sense anyway….
but
what I did not realize is that
I put
a lot
of pride and trust
in what I could Do.
My abilities, My skills, my strength. However,
none of the things I thought I was good at had
been used in ministry- the
things I wanted to rely on for my Identity were not needed or called
on.
The
thing
is, when
I trust to what I can do, or
give, or preform for
my Identity– I set
myself up for one of two things:
Either
I do a good job, credit my success to myself and never learn, never
dive deeper into the things God
has for me (Imagine if an
artist did
a really great job coloring in the lines-
but never
realized that there were
other possibilities.)
Or
I fail. And
feel as if I were broken,
and of NO
VALUE because I was
unable to give myself
any good worth.
And
that is devistaiting.
The crazy thing
is that this line of thought actually leads to a wonderful and
amazing truth.
If God
gives a person value………. the value given by God
is greater than any value any
human could possibly earn for himself (or give to
another).
And
he does.
God made humans in his image; with a mind, will, and emotions. He
also cares what happens to each human. Those facts alone give crazy
value to all humans. Think about it. He is the infinite God…..
And then there
is the next step. If you accept the covering of Jesus’ blood over
your brokenness, accept that the punishment that should have been
yours was taken by him, .Than God calls you his child .
Now think about
this:
if the God
of the universe tells you that you have worth to him, if he
says good, if he raises you up to the place of His child….. who
can raise you higher?
No king on
earth promoting you to the highest of offices, could do you honor
even approaching a shadow of that. And if you worked with your own
hands and mind and won the Nobel prize for yourself ten times over
– you could still not give yourself more value by your work than God
does by calling you his beloved. Not even close.
It would be
like comparing a teaspoon of slat water to the ocean.
Just think of that.
So (Liz),
let go of trying to give or get value by yourself, and instead
rejoice in childhood of the King, and be secure in identity
he gives you as his own.
