Small disclaimer: this was written the second week on the field, but we had no WiFi access so I was unable to post anything. So I’m going to be posting some blogs from the past month.
Honestly these past two week have been the hardest, but most fruitful weeks of my life. Everything that I once put my security in has been stripped away. The rug made of things I placed my identity in, or hid behind in order to not have to deal with life head on; was pulled from beneath me. Even small things I didn’t know were a security blanket for me have been taken away. So, that all that’s left is me dead weight in the arms of Jesus knowing He has to be the one who carries me through. When you get into that kind of pressure cooker it’s eye opening and humbling to see all the junk that comes to the surface.
God is just showing me right and left places where I have been loving from myself and not allowing Jesus to love through me. Places where complacency has been my ruler.
God is teaching me how that love is first patient and patience is the foundation of love, and everything else flows from patience. That hit ya girl hard cause I have the patience of a small child in a line at Disney world. So I’m learning a lot about how patience looks.
My physical body has been at its weakest because of pain in both my feet. We walk 5-6 miles a day to do door to door evangelism and marketplace ministry so it’s been a wild ride. However, through that pain Jesus is teaching me that I can’t even take one step without Him. Also, I’ve prayed for a lot of people’s feet since being here so that could have some correlation. But everyday they’re getting better!
God is just truly exposing all my weaknesses and in that
Showing me His strength. He is showing me that weakness is ok. I wrote this poem about it:
-“I will fight the urge to hide my sin. But with light I’ll expose every weakness. I will be aware that there is no time to waste, hiding behind my past or present mistakes. I will bring my foolishness with open hands to my closest friends,
In order that I may deeply know and understand. Understand the lord and the goodness he has for me, and know weakness is not a curse but a blessing. I will dedicate my life to living fully exposed so that in my weakness he may be greatly known.”
God has been so good and faithful through it all, and even when it’s hard and I’m irritated or tired He showers with His goodness. We walk and do door to door evangelism every morning and afternoon and then do a church service every night, from about 7PM-12:30AM…. hahah welcome to church in Africa. But getting to pray for people, share the gospel, love on people, hug kids and dance my butt off have made every moment of weakness worth it. I hope you are encouraged not to despise your weaknesses or hide them under a rug, but find someone you can be open and honest with. Because when what was in the dark comes to light it loses its power over you. So get vulnerable and let people see the dirt.
Liv
Beautiful mercy me
